Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I'm one of the 7%.... sorry Mom!

What is it about fundy messages being forwarded that makes some jackhole crank the font up to 48 point???? Does that make it more believable to have it written in BIGGER FONT!

All it does is make the mouse stroke getting to the bottom take longer for me. And if I'm going to be stroking the mouse, I'd rather be double clicking my mouse, let me tell you!!!!

Just got this from me Mum....

*sigh*

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play without in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his
sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally, let's wash the dishes.' But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.'

Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?' So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.'

Sally just smiled and said, 'Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help.' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he
finally couldn't stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.'

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

[Aw Christ, here we go...]

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done...? And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

[That's right ladies and gentlemen, thought crime is alive and well in the Christian community, don't let them tell you otherwise.]

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness;

He not only forgives you, but He forgets.

[Yeah, he forgets, right up until his "throne of judgment" when you are called upon to account for your entire life. Pick one bitch, you can't have both.]
It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved.

God is at the window!

When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!

If you are one of the 93 % who will stand up for him forward this with the title, 'I'm in the 93%'

Would you believe 7% of people won't forward this?



I'm not forwarding this piece of shit. BUT I am sharing it with my blog readers.

I'm one of the 7%. And I'm not really sorry.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Why?

because FUCK THEM!!!! That's why!!!!!!!

How to Spot A Gay Terrorist....

Be on the look out for...
Osama Bin Shoppin'


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Do you know what shits me about "muslims"? That they demand and GET respect because they are willing to die for their "beliefs". They are willing to strap on a suicide bomb and blow themselves to "heaven" hoping for 72 (is it 72? how many unsexed individuals are they hoping for again?) virgins to meet them at the pearly gates.

Well fuck that and fuck Islam.

bourbon 4

Beloved Brother and Dearest Sweet Sis. I love you both heaps. I'm so glad I'm an atheist, now, and can choose whom I love. I promised I wouldn't blog hammered because it causes you pain. So I will merely say that I <3 bourbon and it makes me feel fantastic!!!!!

Watched Con Air again.

Powerful movie.

God that is an ugly opening picture. Click on it. Watch it.


It's an incredible song. And an incredible movie.


I am doing my best to get over my love for you Christian. I miss you. Every single day. What I wouldn't give for you to have felt the same. And that is why they do not wish me to blog hammered.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

I, Asshole

When I find a blog that's worth reading I read it from the beginning. For example, if I comment regularly on your blog, I've read it from the start. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *snerk* I am SUCH a nerd.

I had just finished reading JesusFuckingChrist.com from start to current and he upped and vanished on me. AARRGGHH!!!!!!!!! And what a disappointment, I was going to start a link of funny religious bashing blogs on my sidebar headlining him, and he's gone. Do you suppose JesusFuckingChrist will return some day? He promised to, didn't he? Didn't he? Don't leave me hanging!!!!

Anyway, the newest blog that I'm reading all the way through is I,Asshole. She's been blogging since September of 2001. WOW!!! That is ANCIENT in blogger years.

Who is this I, Asshole? In her own words...I am SJ (NO FUCKING DOTS, OKAY, IT DOESN'T STAND FOR ANYTHING). I am Shauny's* web bitch. I am grumpy and caustic and rad and writerly. ...I live in Seattle. I have ugly hair because the last time I went to the grocery store I accidentally bought two conditioners and have been washing my hair with soap all week.
*her web hostess

Favorite Quotes from I, Asshole

On Insomnia- It is almost one and I can't sleep. I wonder how long it would take Mr. Husband to wake up if I tried to fill his nostrils with toothpaste?

On Buyer's Remorse- I should have just thrown my seven dollars off a bridge, and hit myself with a flyswatter for about an hour. Same damn results.

On Home Security- I mean, if an infant decided to to roll over in the direction of the front door, I'm sure it would swing open, that's how secure our house is. We don't have anything to steal, but I don't want anyone sniffing my panties except for ME.

On Riding a Bike- When I was a kid, my butt was always sore for the first few days, and then it wasn't anymore. I guess my question for today is: what happens to your butt that makes it not sore anymore? I guess you get Internal Ass Calluses.

On Kids- One thing I love about little kids is that if they are in a good mood, you can get them excited about anything. If she was awake right now, I could turn to her and say, "Root canal! YAY! Root canal!" If I started chanting it and jumping up and down, she would, too. They are kind of like dogs in that way.

On Improving Blog Readership of Comments- If you want to know how my second day was, you may read the comments of my previous entry. Hint: it involves nakedness.

On Timing of the Vasectomy- Our final mistake in Phoenix was to hurry up and get Mr. Husband's tubes snipped while we still had good insurance. It's not because we want a houseful of Frannies now, we don't, it's because he did it in my fifth month of my pregnancy. The fifth month should actually be called the filth month, because you turn into a perverted, rotten dog and you want to get your hump on three times a day. Maybe it's nature's way of making up for the fact that after that you will have a giant bump and sex just isn't the same with hemorrhoids and a bowling ball in your lap.

On Delivery and the Aftermath- I was up and about an hour later, after taking a shower. Mr. Husband made me some pasta and it was the best pasta ever. I couldn't sit because my vulva was so traumatized I'm sure it looked like a baboon's ass. It sure felt like one. For the next three days, every single muscle in my body was ripped up and sore. And now she will be three in about a week and I couldn't be happier that every day I get farther away from having a legitimate need for an ass-doughnut. Laughed myself to tears on this one.

On Wearing a Thong- However, with thongs, you need to have a pair that is exactly the right size. Too big, and they slither down your ass, giving you a different, but still unpleasant, kind of Visible Panty Line (VPL). Too tight, and oh god...let's just say it's very unpleasant. Let's just visualize that ceramics class you took in junior college. Let us reflect back to the first piece of cold, hard clay you purchased. What did you cut it with? A long, sturdy piece of string. Poor Miss Labia.
...
I guess what it comes down to is that I feel unsettled unless I have a tiny piece of fabric jammed in my ass crack. Yes, I know how insane that sounds. I cannot stop, and if anyone tries to intervene I will remove my thong and strangle them with it.


On Steve Irwin He was on Conan saying that you can't say "fanny pack" in Australia, because "fanny" is slang for a woman's No-No Place, which I think I have heard before. But he did not say, "A fanny is slang for a woman's No-No Place." He said, "A fanny is slang for a woman's...Front Bottom."

Front Bottom! New band name! I am going to start dropping that one all over the place.

"Kiss my Front Bottom!"

"I can pick up a bottle of Coca-Cola with my Front Bottom."

"My Front Bottom is itchy because I filled it with jawbreakers."


On Dating Mr. Husband- "If I choose where we eat, does that mean I have to put out?" I asked.

"You're not supposed to ask, you're supposed to wait-and-see-what-happens," he said.


On Attachment Parenting her 6 Month Old- We used to sleep with her every night, from birth. But about a month ago, she developed a mean donkey kick and a tendency to rip out her father's body hair, of which there is A LOT. It turns out that nothing makes a thirty-year-old man scream like a little girl like involuntary depilation while sleeping. Who knew?



Posts I laughed myself silly on.
I, Asshole Cross Over To The Dark Side (Again)Because nobody PMS's like I, Asshole.

In Which I Make Improper Invocations in the Name of SCIENCE

ENJOY!!!!!

Friday, July 25, 2008

first thing to make me laugh today

I Hate To Cook Book (aka 100 uses for canned creamed soups.) Part of one recipe: "While heating, light a cigarette and stare sullenly at the sink." With Hilary Knight illustrations.

BWAHAHAAHHAHAHA While I don't smoke, I do resent cooking about that much. And the idea of standing there sullenly staring at the sink waiting for the stupid soup to get good and steamy. *SNERK*

Sounds like my kind of cookbook! Similar to the Cake Doctor book (an absolute must have if you often find yourself having to bring round a desert.) WTF am I pimping THAT book for? Don't know. But I always do.

That and talking to parents about giving their children the condom talk. Even Richard can attest to that one, I've already harassed him on the subject. Scared him witless too. And rightfully so, parents that don't teach their kids about condoms... [insert XO style put down and snarky criticism].

Thursday, July 24, 2008

bourbon 3

[richard.... contains vulgarity... including the "f-wort" .... "f-word" used ina sexually pblasphemous manner.... sorry[

fuck it's hard to concentrate with a belt and 3/4 of bourbon under my belt

*snerk* i'm not wearing a belt. mwahahahahahahahaha


picture # 1069


69

omg to be doing 69 right now.

oh my fucking god. please let me 69 again in my life. is there anythign more fantastic than a 69 unles it is a 69 +2

sweet fucking jeebus PLEAAAASASSSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!




Do you know bourbon can even put a smiley face on Conair!!!!



god bless bourbon fucking me WOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


i love this pciture. doesn't he look lickable. mmmmmmmmmmmm

the new verizon ad

OY! You ok?

Nothing says "angst" like country music.

I thought I had this.

What I got was this.

Different reason. Same emotions. Mmmmmm Bourbon.



No, I'm not.


*sigh*

te he and ha ha

Out of the mouths of babes.


A challenge from Richard

Forest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates".

I won't finish that dippy quote any further, I just want to think about chocolate.

I love chocolate. I always have.

In the movie "Chocolat" it is said that quality chocolate melts at body temperature.

:)

That's such a nice thought.

I've had several memorable chocolate bars.

The first was in high school. I thought it was going to last much longer then it actually did. Spent the longest time just sniffing it, hadn't even taken a nibble when all of a sudden it gets yanked from my hand and some jerk walks away with it. I never saw that chocolate bar again. Although I quickly moved on to other chocolate, it took me a long time to recover from the shock of the abrupt finish to that one.

The second chocolate bar started out fantastic. MMMMMmmmm so yummmy, everything I thought I wanted in a chocolate bar, melts at body temperature, just the right amount of milky creamy goodness, makes you want to hold it on your tongue and let it dissolve slowly as your gently swirl the taste around. But occasionally I would hit parts that didn't belong there. This juxtaposition of yumminess and yuckiness made me start associating bad things with the chocolate itself and pretty soon it was no longer satisfying my cravings.

My last chocolate bar.... OMG. I didn't even know a single chocolate bar could come in so many flavors. All in one bar. It was like those Hershey bars with all those little squares, except each one was different. All that savory goodness of "dear jebus don't ever let this end" wonderfulness was overwhelming. I didn't even know I would enjoy some of the flavors mixed into this chocolate bar, but everything I tasted made me want more.

I just wanted to sink my teeth into it and feel that chocolate melting on the roof of my mouth. But I bit too deeply and got a zap from the tinfoil instead. Another time in my over eagerness to get to the next flavor I got a bit of paper instead. In frustration, I pulled back and looked down, I'd been licking the wrapper the entire time.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

what teh fuck

I'm missing something. I'm on the wrong side of cool for this one.

Why do people keep spelling "the" wrong??? Is it a text-speak thing? Is it a hacker thing? Is it a cable-tv series thing? What is it?

I know one really great hacker site that calles them selves "teh hacker site". Well ok, they don't call themselves tehhackersite, but I don't want the feds coming over and checking my computer for illegal downloads or asking me how I know about "tehxxxxxxx.com". I don't. I don't know nuttin' bout no site where you can download the most amazing shit for free. Nuttin' I tells ya. NUTTIN!!!!

So.... Again I say. What "teh" fuck?????

Please. Just tell me. I know I'm revealing my complete and utter dorkage. Feel free to laugh. But help a fellow blogger out. Provide teh link.... omg. That was SOOOO unintentional. BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

*sigh* Again I try...

Provide THE link. Answer THE question. Help THE poor Phoenix out.

Whaddup with "teh"??????

Saturday, July 19, 2008

things that make you go hmmmmmmm

Pope Razinger is a "former" Nazi.

His favorite drink is Fanta Orange.

Fanta is a brand of fruit-flavored soft drink from the Coca-Cola Company, introduced for the first time in Germany in 1940.

Fanta was devised during World War II in Nazi Germany by the German Coca Cola (GmbH) bottling company. Due to restrictions on shipping between Nazi Germany and the United States during hostilities, the German bottling plant could no longer get Coca Cola syrup. The CEO of the plant, Max Keith, needed to do something to keep the plant in operation and came up with a fruit flavored drink made from whatever he could find. Using apple fiber left over from cider presses and whey, a byproduct from cheese manufacture, Fanta was created and became quite popular.
~source

Wow. Now there's a quality product with a colorful background. Yumbo. America got "Coca-Cola" the Nazi's got "Fanta Orange" and the Coke company profitted by both.

And the Pope... still likes his Fanta.

redirect 6

Good morning! :)

Here I am, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, yawning mightily, and clicking through my blog roll to see what my fellow bloggers have been up to this morning and I find a fabulously well written post over on XO's blog about a politician with his head so far up his arse he should be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He can't, because he's so backlogged with shit it's spewing from his mouth.

Completely typical of XO to have a wellwritten post brimming over with biting wit, chock full of sarcastic humor and all sorts of vitaminy goodness. What are you doing still reading this post, head over HERE and appreciate XO in all his brilliance. :)

[Thanks Richard for noticing I'd screwed up the links. Serves me right for not checking them personally. WHOOPS!!!!!]

Friday, July 18, 2008

Richard: guest blogger 3

Bashing Believer's Bogus Beliefs

Why do people on this blog, and atheists in general for that matter, feel the need to bash and trash something they clam they do not believe in?

They are not bashing God, because there is absolutely no God to bash. They are bashing sky fairy believers, for several very good reasons:

1. Each group of people that build their lives around a particular version of sky fairy invariably seeks to create a society that operates according to the imaginary morality of their sky fairy. They expect others to do so as well. The others are often tortured or killed for their beliefs, whether the others are from a different Sky Fairy Group (say that permits abortion, or homosexuality) or are atheists. It is absurd to hear Christian Americans advocating more religion in America at the same time as Muslims are attacking America... a nation built on the principle that religion is a private matter to be kept apart by the "wall between church and state'. Now Bush is directing tax monies contributed by all sorts of people towards specific religious groups. This is wrong, and was vehemently opposed in early America, particularly by the Baptists who seemed to better understand that state controlled religion was deadly and the height of arrogance. "Arrogance" that men should presume what God wants for all individuals of a nation.


2. One Sky Fairy Group frequently objects to the beliefs of other Sky Fairy groups, all too frequently leading to violent conflict.

3. In opposing religious belief, atheists are protecting their freedoms... of all groups in America the person least likely to be accepted for President is not a Mormon, or a Catholic, or a Black or a Woman, it is an atheist. Atheists are thereby under-represented in a political society based on representation by democracy.

4. Sky Fairy believers expect the education system to inculcate religion in children. This is an abominable tyranny over the minds of children who, like you, have their thinking skills undermined at an early age, to be replaced by doctrine.

5. Atheists cannot get mail on Sundays, cannot get groceries in areas where stores are closed on Sundays, and are not considered honest if they are not religious.... the biggest irony of all, because all sky fairy believers are necessarily dishonest. Their dishonesty is so thoroughly established and bolstered by those around them, that they cannot see that they are!

6. The morality of nearly every sky fairy group is focused on death (through the pretense of an 'after-life', a contradiction of terms). In viewing all humans (atheists too) as God's (or Satan's) children, these believers subordinate their Real World happiness to a Fantasy non-World, and adopt moral views that are terribly destructive. E.g. The Ten Commandments, for example, are a complete moral Abomination! They fail for various reasons. Do not conclude that rejecting "Thou shalt not commit murder" means murder is morally acceptable. It is not that way at all. Please read this article on the Commandments, by Dr. Binswanger. Binswanger is head and shoulders above Dawkins and Hitchens, who are the two main pro-atheism authors at the moment. Dr. Binswanger has much more important and fundamental work to do; work which I follow closely. I do not care to read Dawkins or Hitchens, their main, and well publicized, arguments are far too shallow and naive to waste my time with.

7. Lots of atheists are dishonest in their rejection of God, and your complaint about them is apt. However, there is a small group who are rationally and objectively atheist and who live by a stringent and life-affirming morality.

sibling rivalry

It's not just for kids.



And that bedroom scene... the "I hate your guts" scene. That is EXACTLY how I feel about my sister. Or I would. If I still had to share a room with her. Now I'm indifferent.

FUCK THIS LOOKS FUNNY!!!!!!

psycho fundies or why I blog anonymously

Whatever happened to hate the sin not the sinner? Take a look at the true nature of the fundmanetalist christian nut jobs harassing Reed Braden....

I have received a noticeable increase in personal threats by email. Two of the messages gloated about finding my address in the phone book. All but one of the emails came from people who have stumbled onto this blog through various religious forums. I have decided to err on the side of caution and move to another location to keep my family out of danger. I’m currently living with a friend and I have plans to move to my own apartment soon. It will not be listed in any public directory. The address listed in the phone book no longer leads to where I live. Anyone who shows up at that address without a personal invitation from my family may be subject to prosecution.

I don’t know how serious these threats were intended, but I am interpreting them as serious.

Thank you.

- Reed


I like Normal Bob Smith's reaction to death threats. Namely to call bullshit on them and topspin the ball right back into their court. HOWEVER. NBobS lives on his, not with his family, and that is a whole different level of responsibility.

Getting emails like that is fucked and it sucks that it is happening. Just one more thing to add to your list, eh Reed?

a rose is a rose

INTERNAL MEMO: US AIRFORCE

TOP SECRET

The project formerly known as Area 51 will now be called "Homey Airport". If you should be questioned by the press your response, as always, is "No Comment."

End Memo


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Do they think they will put off UFO buff's with that little ruse?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Hat Tip to the Kids' Dad!!!!

Last Tuesday my laptop spazzed out and the colors went all wonky. Basically every instance of black was represented by glittery green. Now imagine the front of my blog with the text set in a field of happy snappy leprechaun green- sparkling like the 4th of July.

AARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Fortunately, the stupid POS is still under warranty. Called up, talked with the techie and he said, "Yep, it needs work, we'll send you shipping materials, you send it to us and we'll get you taken care of. Got the box Friday, mailed it Monday.

PANIC TIME!!! I do NOT want to be without Internet access for most of the week. What would I do without my daily fix of you guys??????

The Kids' Dad spent most of his days off (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) working at getting me back up and running. Up to and including re-installing Windows on my daughter's computer because the Network portion was completely non-functional.

After many hours of effort and more than a little frustration, I've got access!!!!!

Thank you very much! Saying it is a life saver is over-stating it, but not by much.

:D

6 Pack Autobiography Meme

The premise: write your own 6 word autobiography

This idea was started at smithmag.net, continued in a book "Not Quite What I Was Planning" by Rachel Fershleiser and Larry Smith, and noticed by me in a Reader's Digest article called "Six Words That Say it All."

- Brought it to a boil, often. ~Mario Batail, chef
- Couldn't cope, so I wrote songs. ~Aimee Mann, singer/songwriter
- Maybe you had to be there. ~Roy Blount, Jr., humorist
- Struggled with how the mind works. ~Steven J. Pinker, psychologist
- Secret to life: Marry an Italian. ~Nora Ephron, writer/director
- Fifteen years since last professional haircut. ~Jane Goodal, anthropologist
- Well, I thought it was funny. ~Stephen Colbert, actor & host: Colbert Report
- Revenge is living well, without you. ~Joyce Carol Oates, author
- Yes, you can edit this biography. ~Jimmy Wales, founder of wikipedia


Now... it's our turn. I was mucking about with the idea and came up with a couple of fake ones as well as one for myself. I want you to join the fun. That means you Jacob, Sean the Blogonaut, Joe, Reed, Poodles, Atilla the Mom, XO, Richard, Protium, Johnny, T&A, OzAtheist, Harry Nads, Thump Thump Eyes, Tracey Treasure, and Half Rabbit. And anyone else reading my blog who isn't a regular commenter.

Sum up your life in 6 words. Ya never know, ya just might learn something about yourself.


6 Pack Autobiographies.... Fiery Style :)

- I came, I lied, I's crucified. ~Jesus, 1st century carpenter

- May the force be with you. ~George Lucas, creator of Star Wars

- Life and sex, journey not destination. ~Fiery, blogger and mother of 2

- I came, I saw, didn't logout. ~Half Rabbit, blogger

- Problems all the way, none today. ~Thump Thump Eyes, blogger and dear friend. :)

- What an adventure, only getting better. ~Joe, blogger

- Hiding in shadows, awaiting right time. ~Harry Nads, blogger and closet bound

Now, if you want to spread the joy on your own blog, copy paste the thing and let the good times roll! *snerk*

Thanks for playing! :D

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

all hands abandon ship

HELLO....Hello...hello....

Is anybody Here...ere....ere...

Did I miss "last call" or something?

Did I overstay the party and the hosts are just waiting for me to figure it out and get off the couch... make my way to the door?

Bloggers near and dear to my heart have been drying up and blowing off like the great dust storm of Thirty-three.

Where the fuck is everybody going?????

Jacob @ Bent My Wookie
Ryan Green @Crazy Christian Blog
BixTex71 @ Deep in the Heart of BigTex
Evolve Into Birds @ Personal Evolution
I Am @ Evangelical Atheist
Harry Nads @ Does the Christian God of the Bible Exist
Jesus Fucking Christ @ Church of Jesus Fucking Christ
Oz Atheist @ OzAtheist
Reed Braden @ Homosecular Gaytheist
T&A @ Aye!

*sigh*

I blog to make contact with people. I have a feeling that their real life is getting in the way of their online life. OR In proper perspective, their online life is getting in the way of their real life. I'm starting to wonder if StarHawk wasn't right all along.

I miss each one of you and wish you the very best.

And I am strongly resisting the urge to shout into the dark, "Don't leave me alone!"

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

the importance of shade


This was the temperature in the sun this morning at 9:15am. YOWZA!!!

I only put this up because I know certain shivery individuals who would LOVE for it to be this temp where they are at.

Crazy Aussies.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

bourbon 2

My daughter asked me who the Holy Spirit was. I love that she doesn't know.

Thanks to 1/2 cup of bourbon and 2 cans of Diet Rite... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and a fantastic chat with Richard. <3.... I answered her... "the Holy Ghost is the one who banged the Virgin Mary to produce Jebus."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I then said, "Oh, My GOD!!! I have to blog about this."**

They rolled their eyes and I said, "I bet I can do it in 5 minutes".

Little do they know, that while I can "do it" in 5 minutes, it's better if you take your time.

I raise my glass to you, in the hopes that YOU "do it" in longer than 5 minutes and love every fucking minute of it. If you'll pardon the pun.

~Fiery

I beat the 5 minute timer. YES!!!! :D

**And this was after having spent 15 minutes with them, while hammered, trying to explain the meaning behind the "beat off" gesture WITHOUT explaining what the gesture represents. Let's hear it for Bourbon Parenting. WHOOT!!!!!

compelled to blog

Well fuck. It looks like I'm going to have to do a real blog post.

It's been a long god damned time and the writing part of my brain has rusted almost completely solid. Damn.

But crap like this just pisses me off. No don't click on it, I'll get to it in a minute. *sigh*

dammit Dammit DAMMITTTTTT!!!! I can't sit here and just complacently let this one go. AARRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

Specifically responding to the review by Cisco at the above link which I was directed to on Sean's blog by some fundy jackhole named jaajoe. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

*groan* This is painful and reading this review is so much crap. And who am I to hold your hand and walk you through all it's crappiness?????

alright, Alright, ALRIGHT!!! I'll try again. Maybe like I did originally and respond to the text as it goes along.

Book Review: The End of Reason: A Response to the New Atheists, by Dr. Ravi Zacharias. Published by Zondervan, 2008.
Written by Cisco
Wednesday, 04 June 2008
Responded to by Fiery
Sunday, 13 July 2008

He spends a good chunk of this review talking about another book by Dionne.

E.J. Dionne, Jr. in his book, Souled Out: Reclaiming Faith and Politics After the Religious Right, makes many ill-informed statements, but possibly one of the least-informed is a statement that he makes concerning the recent popularity of the books written by the neo-atheists.

First off, the use of the word "neo-atheist". That's a new one to me. Who were the original atheists? The Founding Fathers? The Athenian philosophers? From a very small Google search, it appears to be used as a smear on the 4 Horsemen. Maybe that phrase "4 horsemen" is their response to being called "neo-atheists"? Not a big deal, just a new one to me.

Dionne says the following: “The popularity of the neo-atheists' books suggests that those who have pushed religion to the right have done more to arouse enmity toward religion than to win adherents to faith.”

Who pushed religion to the right? If he is saying, atheists pushed it there, then a big ole frickin' DUH!!!! to the fact that we are arousing enmity. But that isn't the way the sentence makes sense, if one can look for sense from a fundy. According to Dione, the religious right is arousing enmity to faith. WOOHOO!!! Good. I hope they keep arousing people. Next point.

You may have noticed the books to which Dionne is referring. These are the books that have been churned out by the likes of Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, and Richard Dawkins, and that have titles such as The God Delusion, The End of Faith, and God is not Great.

"Churned out"? Churned!!!! As if non-fiction books that were 464, 224, and 320 pages long respectively could EVER be churned out. Not one of those 3 books was churned anything. Nice little slur slid in there, just to undermine without making an actual criticism.

All of these books try to provide new arguments for a very old idea, namely, the non-existence of God, and they have taken up prominent and seemingly permanent residence at your local bookstore.

I take exception to the word "try" but will let it slide to get to the next point. What does every fundy book on the planet do but "try to provide new arguments for a very old idea, namely, the existence of God"? FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!! Do you read the drivel you write or does it just vomit forth from your bowels uncensored.

At my favorite Borders store, they can be found in various hardcover and paperback forms at a strategic endcap that they have occupied for over a year. I say “strategic” because the endcap is in a location that is required to be seen by any person exiting the restrooms.

Maybe the manager figures that once you've offloaded the biological shit in your life you might as well dump the psychological shit as well. Next time do yourself a favor and grab a copy on your way to the loo or better yet on the way to the till.

In his statement about the popularity of the books written by the neo-atheists, Dionne is historically inaccurate. Rather than pushing religion to the right, those of us in the Religious Right are merely attempting to prevent liberals, such as Dionne, from pulling Christianity any further to the left. But putting aside Dionne's re-writing of history, are we to understand that a person searching for God, when confronted with the absolutes of Christianity as espoused by the Religious Right, will have the default reaction of embracing atheism?

*snerk* Please feel free to confront me with the "absolutes of Christianity". It's absolute rubbishness. It's absolute harmfulness to the human race. It's absolute openness to interpretation by whatever ruling political party wants it to be. As Blaise Pascal put it so well, "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction".

Such may be the case. I really do not know for certain, but neither does Dionne. I would suggest that a person searching for God is just as likely to default to atheism when confronted with the vagaries of the liberal Christianity that Dionne espouses.

May it ever be so.

Regarding the popularity of the books of the neo-atheists, Dionne re-writes history and makes a statement that has absolutely no basis in fact. Thankfully, in The End of Reason, Ravi Zacharias avoids such ill-informed statements. Admittedly, Zacharias does not speak to the “why” of the popularity of the neo-atheists' books, other than to suggest that their popularity may have more to do with their controversial nature than any substantive arguments. But Ravi does provide us with a fact-based, eloquent, logical refutation of the positions of Harris and his colleagues in neo-atheism.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! A "fact-based" rebuttal. HA!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! I bet. Goddamit, with that kind of statement, now I've got to see if the library has a copy of this fucking book. I've got to read this glorious "fact based, eloquent, logical refutation" of the atheist arguments for myelf. I wonder if there is anything different from that Cahill book I subjected myself to at the behest of my fundy neighbor. I wonder if he still has it and what he would say if I asked to borrow it to compare the two. Wouldn't THAT be a hoot. Might give the poor old codger hope that I was seeing the light.

No such luck at the library. DANG!!! Maybe Amazon...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We interrupt this review to bring you a quote from Amazon provided by the publisher for the End of Reason by Ravi and I quote, "The End of Reason is a clear and powerful response to the utter bankruptcy of Harris's New Atheism as it explains the true nature of God, the foundation for evil in the world, and the basis of true morality."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasping for breath* What was that claim for originality again? The "true" nature of God (by whose interpretation), the foundation for evil (says you) and the basis for true morality (something one does NOT need god for).

And now back to our regularly scheduled blogpost.

We should note a few things about the author of The End of Reason, Dr. Ravi Zacharias. I first became acquainted with Dr. Zacharias about ten years ago. I was doing some late-night-long-distance driving through Tennessee, and was scanning through all of the radio stations that could be heard on my car radio with the hope of finding something that would keep me awake. I stumbled upon a speaker who first intrigued me because of the faint trace of an Indian accent (an accent that I had never before associated with Evangelical Christian radio stations in the Bible-Belt), and then further intrigued me because of the loving eloquence and logic of his presentation. I immediately became a fan of Ravi, and have subsequently made every effort to listen to him on both radio and television whenever possible. I have read several of his books, and I have developed the opinion that Ravi is the greatest Christian apologist of our time. Ravi does indeed hail from India, and his life experiences and education provide him with a unique perspective that he clearly communicates. He provides us with the example of a great Christian leader precisely because he refuses to be one. Ravi's quiet, servant-like attitude provides the example that John Hagee and Pat Robertson would do well to follow, and should those two eminent so-called “evangelical leaders” be unable to bring themselves to a point where they can mimic Ravi's humble demeanor, I would suggest that perhaps they might at least follow Ravi's example in the matter of actually thinking before speaking.

Interesting, a new form of evangelical preacher. Dare I say a "Neo-Evangelical"? *snerk* I wonder how humble he is with the contributions he receives. I wonder if he drives around in an old beater of a car wearing suits he gets at the used clothing stores. And what does it prove if he does? Not much, just curious.

The End of Reason is written specifically as a response to Sam Harris' book, Letter to a Christian Nation, but serves likewise as a response to Hitchens, Dawkins, and other neo-atheists in those areas where their positions overlap. The book is just a small, 5”X 8” hardcover with 128 pages, and it took me about two hours to read it.

If you are familiar with other books written by Ravi, you may be a bit surprised at the tone of the writing found in The End of Reason. Ravi's writing in this book is much more, for lack of a better term, aggressive. Even Ravi says, “this is the most strongly worded book I have ever written.” He does not make any personal attacks on any of the neo-atheists, and he is always the consummate gentleman in his analysis and arguments. But in his stern condemnation of the irresponsible and reprehensible writings of Harris and his cohorts, Ravi takes on something of the persona of a professor who is reprimanding students who have been lazy in their application of critical thinking. Indeed, the light of Ravi's well-written arguments illuminates the writings of the neo-atheists in general, and Sam Harris' writings in particular, and their writings are found to be not much more than the juvenile musings of a university sophomore who has just discovered Nietzsche.


Well I checked the Fargo Public Library for this masterful work, no go. I wonder if the Moorhead Public Library has it. *sign* Nup.

Because The End of Reason is so well-written, and because it is short, to-the-point, and logical in it's arguments, any attempts at an in-depth review of the book would find the reviewer simply parroting all that Ravi has already written. It would be difficult to improve upon Ravi's arguments or insight, and so I will not make the attempt. So then, what is left to me is the task of convincing the reader to purchase The End of Reason. With that stated task in mind, I make the following three arguments.

It is possible that the reader of this review is a fan of Sam Harris, or Christopher Hitchens, or Richard Dawkins. Maybe you have read the books of one or all of these writers and you have found an affinity to them and you have found their arguments to be compelling. May I suggest that intellectual integrity dictates that you make an effort to look at the other side of the argument? If indeed, as E.J. Dionne suggests, the bombastic idiocy of self-serving preachers such as John Hagee has driven you into the arms of the neo-atheists, please take one look at the writing of Dr. Ravi Zacharias, who is neither bombastic nor self-serving. I purchased and read Sam Harris' Letter to a Christian Nation because I wanted to always be ready “to give an answer to every man that asketh” a reason for the hope that is in me. If you are an atheist, it is quite possible that you have already heard every argument in existence concerning God's existence, but it is also possible that you have not. The End of Reason is probably the best modern argument for the existence of God that has been written, and I would suggest that an atheist should read it, if only to strengthen his or her beliefs in much the same way that it strengthened mine.

It is also possible that the reader of this review is a Christian and is a fan of Rick Warren or Joel Osteen. I must admit that, other than Osteen's perpetual obsession with material things, I do not find the writings of these two individuals to be particularly offensive. Generally speaking, these two authors make efforts to make their readers feel better about themselves, and I can not criticize a noble endeavor such as that. But when I need to feel better about myself, I have always found that Paul the apostle is an author that is up to the task, because he writes things like, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Osteen and Warren can never match the feel-good majesty of “For I am persuaded that neither death, nor live, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.” Osteen and Warren can never match the wise simplicity of “Love never faileth.”

My point is that many present day Christian authors, such as Osteen and Warren, provide books that have little substance, and the substance that these authors do provide is actually much better provided by the Bible itself. But I suspect that a copy of The Holy Bible may not have all of the cachet of a copy of The Purpose Driven Life. I would submit that The End of Reason, with it's mere 128 pages, provides more substance and is more important to Christianity than all of Warren's and Osteen's books combined, because The End of Reason forces the mind to do the critical thinking that is so lacking in Christianity today. It is required reading for the atheist who has never really looked at a logical argument for the existence of God, and it is required reading for the Christian who has never really critically analyzed his own faith.


Ya know what? Bullshit is still bullshit no matter how rationally it is presented. You can wrap it in ribbons and sprinkle it with perfume but it's still manure. Enough said, I'm letting this lie, because this next section is what got my knickers in a twist and made me break my blogging silence. Curse you jaajoe!!!!!

Finally, I would submit that The End of Reason is required reading for all Americans, regardless of faith. Ravi suggests in his book that the choice that Americans currently face is not really between Christianity and secular atheism, but is rather between Christianity and Islam.

wrong Wrong WRONG!!!! Look at that false alternative setting up Christianity as the default win because of COURSE we don't follow Islam. No, fool. The choice is between a "faith" based view of life and a "rational" based view of life. You can't flip a coin and say "heads it's jebus, tails it's mohammed". Nup. You could say "left facing head Christianity, right facing head Islamism and tails it's atheism" but not the other way.

Ravi uses present-day Europe as proof for his suggestion when he says, “Even now, Europe is demonstrating that it's secular worldview – one that Harris applauds – cannot stand against the onslaught of Islam and is already in demise.” Ravi goes on to say, “In the end, America's choice will be between Islam and Jesus Christ. History will prove before long the truth of this contention.” I implore the reader of this review to read The End of Reason, and then make his own judgment as to whether America's real choice is between secular atheism and Christianity, or between Islam and Christianity, as Ravi posits.

Faith is the end of reason. It will be reason that saves the world from the hell that faith has cast it into.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Protium's baaaack!!!

After a 2.5 month hiatus Protium's finally got up a new blog post.

Head over and give it a read.

Glad you're back Brotium, keep up the momentum.

Friday, July 11, 2008

something is hinky around here

Too much of this....
And the airlines thought, "Maybe we should have a dude that sits around and makes the pilots share the runways. Kind of a crossing guard... but for airplanes."

And they called it an Air Traffic Controller.

Job Description for:"Air Traffic Controllers" (stick with me the relevance will become clear in a moment... clear.... *snerk*)

Control air traffic on and within vicinity of airport and movement of air traffic between altitude sectors and control centers according to established procedures and policies. Authorize, regulate, and control commercial airline flights according to government or company regulations to expedite and ensure flight safety.

And they saw that it was good, and they said that it was good, and it was good.

And then this news item

Air Traffic Controller Wanted... Application Available in Braille

You read that correctly. St. Mary's, a little wee British airport, is putting out applications for the position of AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER in Braille. Now I'm all for equal opportunity BUT BUT BUT BUT BUTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!! Does or does not VISION seem to be a key component in the aforementioned job description? Wouldn't this be like advertising for a new K-9 officer and saying "Dog allergies not an issue" or advertising for a nanny with the addendum "Aversion to children, not a problem"???????? Seriously WTF???? If I'm 35,000 feet in the air, I want the person telling the pilot where to put the plane when it touches the ground to be able to SEE the radar screen.

And in similar but hopefully unrelated news Second Near Collision at JFK Prompts Changes

Please oh please oh please don't let this become a trend.

Just say no to Blind Air Traffic Controllers.

Because I don't want my next trip to end like this.


Or like this...



And hey... let's be careful out there!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

and now... the weather

I wonder if it will cool off much tonight?


Not with that cloud cover. I'm just a smidge to the right of dead center. With the high tomorrow looking to be about 90*F/31*C. RATS!!!!!

helpful metric conversions

for all of us imperialists

* 1 millionth of a mouthwash.....1 microscope
* Time between slipping on a peel & hitting the pavement.....1 bananosecond
* Weight an evangelist carries with God.....1 billigram
* 1,000,000 aches & pains.....1 megahurtz*
* Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mph.....1 knot-furlong
* basic unit of laryngitis.....1 hoarsepower
* 1,000 grams of wet socks....1 literhosen
* 10 rations.....1 decoration

~Ed Thompson

with thanks to charcuteire for the correction. Cheers! :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

random humor

Thought at first this sticker was on a milk jug. Upon more careful examination, appears to be slapped upon a street sign. Wonder how many fundies actually understand the truth behind what it says? Probably not many.



This is from Reed's blog.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

atheist prayers

Lord and Savior Jesus whom they call the Christ,

Booo hooo hoooo my life didn't turn out the way I expected it to.



Yep, that's what I thought.

hat tip to Church of Jesus Fucking Christ for this one.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Brotium... this one is for you

in remembrance of an incident in your workshop.



A 16 year old was arrested for wearing this t-shirt.

OzA has a great post about it here.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy 4th of July



Do watch all the way to the end. It's only 2 minutes and worth it. :D

And because YouTube is addictive...

Trekkies say "What"????

Thursday, July 3, 2008

the big question

Does Donald Duck wear trousers or not?????

The answer....



The look on the shopkeeper's face is priceless. WELL DONE CARTOON!!!!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

open forum 15

Here it is again, the start of a brand new month and that means another open forum. It's your chance to ask a question that may have been niggling in the back of your mind: personal, atheist, homeschooling, whatever you can come up with.

You ask, I'll answer. :D

And heck, since Protium posts to this blog, you can ask him too. Can't promise he'll answer though. He's extremely busy, and a GOC to boot. But that's ok, 'cause I love him anyway. :)

Ready.... GO!