Monday, September 29, 2008

Sarah Palin

Awhile back Harry Nads asked what I thought of Sarah Palin. This pretty much sums it up...

What concerns me about Palin is the irrelevance of her qualifications. She has completely distracted everyone's attention from Obama and McCain. It's all about her. Which, I'm sure is a very familiar situation for her. I will freely concede that her interviews have been horribly embarassing. She just isn't a national calibre politician.

Did we spend this much time worrying about Dan Quayle's qualifications????? Nope. Nobody gave a shit. Although the Saturday Night Live sketches with him sitting on Bush's lap were funny.

He was a puppet. She'll be a puppet. And it's allllll bullshit.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Ninja Cat

Cats were once considered the familiars of witches and tools of satan and were persecuted as such in horifically torturous ways.

Cats came under suspicion for a variety of reasons. Unlike dogs, they did not behave subserviently toward humans. This was considered unnatural, because it violated the biblical view that humans should have dominion over animals. Also, cats were very active at night and engaged in loud, raucous mating rituals. Though cats had always behaved in this manner, to the superstitious minds of the Middle Ages, cats were practicing supernatural powers and witchcraft. Most accused witches were older peasant women who lived alone, often keeping cats as pets for companionship. This guilt by association meant that roughly a million cats were burned at the stake, along with their owners, on suspicion of being witches.

Just another example of the loving hand of god at work through the Catholic Church.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

bash the fundy opportunity

Yep, we've got an infestation. A fundy who last visited us in January is back to drop his little turd of displeasure on posts and comments directed at him and his kind.

Feel free to join the fundy* bashing already in progress. The fuckwitted idiots deserve it.


You Reap What You Sow

Strawman Alert

*Fundy- a christian browsing atheist blogs to drop their little shit bombs of idiocy without bothering to defend them on a meaningful level.

Monday, September 22, 2008

arse wiping tips by ShitBeGone

I don't remember getting taught how to wipe my own butt. I must have, or I figured it out, because I don't go around with shit stained underpants.

Worse, I don't remember teaching either of my kids. And their underwear is skid free as well. Hmmmmm.

And now... a word from our sponsors...

ShitBegone toilet paper is unembossed— meaning you get more strength, more sheets, and the true softness you need— without the "hot air" of other brands.

For best results, ShitBegone (as all toilet paper) should be used folded, not crumpled. Folding toilet paper instead of crumpling it makes it feel softer, and saves paper too. Here at ShitBegone, we don't mind if you use less toilet paper— in fact, we'd prefer it. Just as long as you use ShitBegone.

That gets to the deeper philosophy behind ShitBegone. ShitBegone is truth in marketing. We sell unembossed paper because it's a better value. Our 100% recycled, unembossed paper is cheaper, easier, and more efficient to make— and just as good to use as even the most expensive, heavily marketed, 100% virgin fiber competitor.

(Who but a true asshole, would sell something that was made of 100% fresh ground up forests— more expensive than necessary— and engineered to encourage overuse? That's corporate America for you...)

Here's the key: instead of puffing ourselves up with air, ShitBegone is content to be soft where it counts— against your ass.

We reject the idea, which other companies have advertised for years, that toilet paper is only soft if the roll feels squishy in your hand. The truth is it doesn't matter a bit how soft the roll feels, since it's not the roll you will be wiping with!

Instead, you wipe with just a few sheets. Some people crumple them, but the better way is to fold them.

When you crumple toilet paper, just like if you crumpled a piece of writing paper, it gets sharp edges and corners. Why would you want sharp corners on your toilet paper? Like all paper, toilet paper feels smoothest when it is flat.

Folding, instead of crumpling, also helps you use far less paper— saving energy, resources and money.

If you are worried that folded paper will break or tear, just fold it over again to make more layers. With ShitBegone, I usually tear off 3 or 4 sheets, and fold them over twice for a total of 4 sheets (8 plys) thick. But even if you tear off 6 or 8 sheets at a time, and make a pad 24 layers thick to wipe yourself with, you will still use less paper than most crumplers do.

Now that you are wiping properly, you see how the true softness you feel is just the smooth texture of the individual sheet of paper, which is why you can forget about the big squishy roll.

In fact, the paper in those big soft rolls can be even harsher than plain paper, because of the embossing process.*

500-sheet, 2-ply ShitBegone lasts as long as a 1000-sheet, 1-ply roll, because it is the same amount of paper. Yet ShitBegone costs less than many 1000-sheet brands, especially other 100% recycled brands, meaning it is a better deal.

Also, since ShitBegone is 2-ply 500 sheet instead of 1-ply 1000 sheet, that means it's twice as thick... which means you spend less time unrolling and folding up the paper, and makes it less likely to break or leak through.

*This is because embossing is all about making little bumps or texture on the paper to trap air between the layers. You don't use the air so why would you pay people to emboss it in there and then haul it around? If the embossing isn't done well (and lots of it isn't) then the paper will feel rough. If you want to really feel how soft a toilet paper is going to feel against your skin, then instead of squeezing the roll you should do this. Unroll a couple sheets of each one and put them down flat on a hard surface. Now stroke them lightly with the tips of your fingertips.
If you do this for your friends, you will look really professional and like a true toilet paper connoisseur.

If you do the stroke-test on the back side (the side facing the inside of the roll) of a heavily embossed roll you will feel the problem known in the industry as "back side scratchiness." This is where the back side of the paper gets even scratchier than the front side from the embossing. Only the best patterns and companies are able to overcome it and they all spend a lot of money trying. Buy why bother since it's totally unnecessary anyway!

Ya didn't make it this far didja? *Snerk* That's ok. It was a post about toilet paper. :)


You can actually buy ShitBeGone here.

Sunday, September 21, 2008


Joe says it's not real. But they couldn't take a picture of it if it wasn't real. Right? RIGHT?????

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

this is BULLSHIT!!!!

I am very fortunate to live in a place where there are regular "gas wars" between the gas/petrol stations where they compete for who has the lowest prices in town. Fargo has always been this way even while Mama Ewok was growing up here. I filled up today at $3.529 per gallon. Yes, I realize that is better than most other places in the world.

*NEVERTHELESS* Having to spend $50 to fill up my tank is fucking horse shit!!!!

A big FUCK YOU to all the politicians perpetuating the "War on Terror" ...
...and a big "Where the fuck is it?" to all who claimed the U.S. was only in Iraq for the cheap oil.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

teh link collection

We all have our favorite websites, some that we check daily or some we keep as ready references should we ever need them. Most of them seem so obvious to us, that we're positive that everybody knows about them. Well recently, I discovered how out of the loop I was.

I was hoping you could help me round out my collection of the "must have" links that "surely everybody knows about THAT site".

Here are mine... I know I'm missing some great sites. Please help me add to my collection!!!!


LOLCats- dedicated to the funniest damn cat pictures EVER!!! :)
Fail- dedicated to those embarassing epic failures caught on film
Normal Bob Smith- the creator of the Jesus Dressup page, Satan's Salvation comic strip, Muhammad Dressup page and author of the most hilarious rebuttals to fundy hate mail.

Post Secret- secrets of everyday people represented in postcard form. Updated every Sunday.
What Would Tyler Durden Do?- home of the most wittily written American celebrity gossip, rarely safe for work. ;)

The Bible excellent reference for the contradictions, bullshit and vile nature of god
Brick Testament- The Bible done in legos.

Thank you for sharing!!!!!

*the author of this blog assumes no responsibility for hours, days nigh weeks lost in the archives of the aforementioned blogs.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

you reap what you sow

When you raise your child to believe in the end times, the devil, hell, and an all-seeing, all-knowing god... you'd better not act shocked when they buy into that crap hook line and sinker.

September 11, 2008, 2:43 pm
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Doomsday predictions surrounding the start-up of Europe's Large Hadron Collider -- a giant particle-smasher designed to explore the origins of the universe -- come as little surprise to physicists.

The world's largest particle-collider has yet to begin experiments, but its trial run on Wednesday was accompanied by worries that it might spawn black holes with enough gravitational pull to swallow up the Earth.

Well one person in particular took the doomsday predictions seriously.

Yahoo News AU A teenage girl in India has killed herself after fearing the Big Bang experiment in Switzerland may cause the world to end.

Local Indian authorities said the 16-year-old girl from Madhya Pradesh drank pesticide and was rushed to the hospital but died later.

Instead of providing their daughter with the tools she needed to think rationally for herself, to be able to reason and make logical decisions, they fill her with mysticism and fear so that the idea of the world POSSIBLY ending is so horrific that it merits suicide. The world MIGHT end, I better off myself and quickly.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

A laugh for today

Just found the most hilarious site. But be warned, if you didn't know about it already (like certain individuals reading this who could have told me about this yonks ago and DIDN'T!) it is incredibly addictive. And there's hundreds and hundreds of pages. AARRRGGGHHH!!!!! Found this one on page 22.

Monday, September 8, 2008

round trip ticket

Anywhere anytime on ebay. Currently the bid is at $456.99.


Read about it in this article here.

Let me know when your flight arrives so I can pick you up! :)

open forum 17

The first of the month came without acknowledgment from me. heh. Other things have as well, including my daughter's appointment to get her wisdom teeth removed. It's been rescheduled to October 9th. If I can pull my head out, we'll make it this time.

Fucking insurance is only going to cover $525 and my share is $1200. I'll just pull that straight out of my arse. FFUUUCCCKKKK!!!!!!

Open Forum- it's like open mic. You can ask me questions or talk amongst yourselves.

Think I'll go get the mail. Maybe that book I ordered will be there.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

too late to panic

My parents will be here in 20 minutes.

I've got everything vaccumed. I think the toilets are clean. I put new sheets on my bed 2 nights ago, that's good enough, right?

Can you spot seven deadly sins on my night table? Guess I better fix that before I let them sleep in my room tonight. heh heh.