Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

the new AFA Forum

**Teaser**

The new on-line Forum for the Atheist Foundation of Australia is in beta testing as I type this. Here is a foretaste of the good things to come, said to a fundy by our newest member JohnO...

"The lord is your shepherd eh? What does a shepherd do? He looks after a flock of sheep so he can fleece them and sell them for meat."

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *snerk*

The new AFA Forum... Coming to the internet January 8th. (or so). Hope to see you there!!!

newest book in the Left Behind series



A must have for all conspiracy buffs and those concerned by the coming economic collapse. Frankly, since America now has a black President it will be Armageddon any second now and everybody should read this book. :P

Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.

And that means one thing: investment opportunities!

For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon?

Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, HOW TO PROFIT FROM THE COMING RAPTURE instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.

Monday, December 29, 2008

thought for the day

Thanks to OzAtheist for this one. :)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

it's raining men



It really was raining men in Shenzhen China. And some poor bastard trying to deliver chinese food died in the down pour.

The 52-year-old cyclist, surnamed Li, was making deliveries from his fast food restaurant when the suicide jumper landed on him on Thursday afternoon.

Good grief!!!! Maybe if they had banned that song this sort of thing wouldn't have happened. The government needs to protect us from these crazed suicide jumpers.

Would this qualify as a murder-suicide?

LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!!!

Friday, December 26, 2008

LOTR and Star Wars

I am a huge fan of Lord of the Rings, particularly Peter Jackson's extended edition release of the movie trilogy. However, I'm not so attached to them that I don't appreciate a good piss take of the movie. For example- in Clerks 2 ...


Posted here strictly for reference because the one I really want you to see is this one...




:D



Always end on a laugh and as 2008 is almost over, figured this would be fun! :)

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Linus and the Meaning of Christmas


Merry Xmyth fellow bloggers! :)

Hat tip to Atheist Momma for this clip. Cheers! :)

Monday, December 22, 2008

when is it ok to hate gay people?



Found Luis CK clips over on Reed's blog. Dammit, another gem to add to the pile. It's like being a dragon hoarding all these little pieces of treasure I find sprinkled in the manure pit of the internet.

Ewww. That rhymed, but not really in a good way.

*snerk*

my xmyth card

Found this on Tracey's site. Had to have it for my own.


I liked this one as well.

I never lied to my kids about Santa and my 15 year old daughter and almost 12 year old son still look forward to Xmyth and wonder what "santa" will bring them knowing full well who Santa is. Never lie to your children.

OzA sent me this. He thought I could relate. I can.



wrongcards.com.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

truth in headlines

Just saw this headline teaser. I wonder if they meant to combine the two.

The Duggars welcome their eighth daughter, and 'The Biggest Loser' crowns a winner.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yep the clown car has sprogged again. Was it really 9 months ago when the blogging world had a field day with this yutz?

*shakes head*

how time flies.

christmas looking a bit bleak?

Brighten your holidays the same way Santa does...

With a large bottle of vino.

Now about Rudolph's red nose.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Australia- it's the Aussies

The wildlife

YIKES!!!!!

The land itself
ZOMG!


But it is the people that make it spectacular!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

What is Twitter to you?

I thought twitter was a form of group texting. Rather generic random comments thrown out by people you know so you get interesting little tidbits of their day.

At least, that's how I use it and who I've signed up for.

But there are complete strangers who subscribe to me and I don't even know how they've found me. Or why?????? Then I click on their profile and they are following 750+ people and have 900+ followers.

Ummmmmm?????

There's no way they are getting updates from 750+ people delivered to their cellphone. And there's no way they are reading all of those from their computer. Unless they truly have no life, but how would they keep up on that many conversations????

I can see signing up for a political figure you are interested in and why that person would have thousands of followers. But then to turn around and find that person following 800+ people, what's the point of that? Is that giving your stamp of approval?

Also, the strangers that have signed up for my twittering never comment to me or respond in anyway, which suggests they aren't reading. So why sign up at all? Is it a way of hinting that they want me to follow them?

I think I'm some how missing the point with twitter.

What is twitter to you?

on my way home

I am spending today (Wednesday) packing and will spend tomorrow (Thursday) driving home.

Apparently I have hip-deep snow the length of my driveway and will be parking on the street. That should make carrying in a carload of stuff in sub zero temperatures interesting.

*sigh*

It's been a long time away from home and I'm really looking forward to getting back. I've stopped in on a few blogs, but really have missed participating in comments etc...

Still haven't done Sean's meme from October and pretty sure I've missed at least one other one as well. Will spend LOTS of time reading blog archives when I get back... cause that's just how I roll. :) As XO would say.

All things permitting, I'll be up and running again in 2 days.

FINGERS CROSSED!!!!!

I miss you all as well!!!!!

~Fiery

Friday, December 5, 2008

Islam is Fucked Up Part 8

Obviously Fiery is away and stuck on dialup so I doubt she's seen this video. I'm sure she would want to add this to the "Islam Is Fucked Up" series so here it is...

"Scientific" Proof that Woman cannot Talk and Remember Simultaneously

Dickhead alert! *Snerk*

Abd Al-Majid Al-Zindani: Allah said, with regard to women bearing witness: "If two men are not available, then a man and two women, such as you choose as witnesses, so that if one of them errs, the other can remind her." Some heretics communists and other atheists ridiculed [this verse], saying: How come a man's testimony equals that of two women? They used this to mock [the Muslims]. The Muslims used to respond that women are subject to menstruation, when their endurance and mental capacity for concentration are diminished. When a woman witnesses a killing or an accident, she becomes frightened, moves away, and sometimes even faints, and she cannot even watch the incident...

[Fiery's comment here] I can't wait for this!




I'm imagining Fiery is wishing she could download it before she dies so she can comment :)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

6 Random Things about Me

I got tagged by OzAtheist for the six random things about myself meme. Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. (That's the underliney bit at the top.)
2. Post the rules on your blog. (That's what yer reading.)
3. Write six random arbitrary things about yourself.(That's what yer on pins and needles waiting for. GET ON WITH IT!!!!)
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. (nag nag)
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. (Oh for fuck's sake I'm on DIALUP!!!!!)
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. (Yoh! OzA! My entry is up. If this announcement doesn't count, I'm also sending the info. via twitter.)

Random Fact About Fiery #1- I let a pro-lifer have it on the phone today. She called up wanting to play a recorded message for my mum that was a matter of "life and death" urgency. When asked what the subject was, she said abortion. I said, "Abortion is a horrible...horrible...horrible thing... to prevent. Abortions should be available to women to prevent unwanted pregnancies and unwanted children." and then I added a very bright and cheery, "THANKS!" Click. I wish I'd had time to think of a better answer, but that was mine off the fly.

Random Fact About Fiery #2- I don't give a rats arse about getting the mail. Some people compulsively check every single day (or have to because of the quantity they get). We have a post office box where our mail is delivered (no street delivery) and I send my daughter to check what's there about 3 times a month.

Random Fact About Fiery #3- I love sorting things and putting things in order especially books. Best job I ever had was as a used book store owner and dealing with the books we got in on trade- sorting, organizing, shelving. YAY!!!!! In fact, when I'm cleaning house and I find a deck of cards I always sort them by suit then by rank. You'd be appalled if I told you the method I use.... every time.... Red above, black below, bumpy on the left, smooth on the right. In other words, from top to bottom Hearts/Diamonds/Clubs/Spades. *snerk*

Random Fact About Fiery #4- I play the flute (and have since 5th grade) and love performing. But I can't bring myself to practice if I don't have a performance coming up. Yet I'm happier when I play. I even majored in music education at university but didn't complete the degree as I got pregnant with my son and didn't want to teach in a public school.

Random Fact About Fiery #5- I just found out that my parents could upgrade their internet service for about $45 a month. Fingers crossed that they say yes!!!!!!

Random Fact About Fiery #6- Every time I get on the computer my cat Neko comes to sit on my lap.

Bonus Fact about Fiery- several people are going to be surprised and possibly even disappointed that none of these facts were about sex. It was with great restraint that they were not. :P

Let's see... as to who to target as most of the bloggers I know have already been infected with this meme and I know that even on dialup. *rolls eyes* Yeah, I'm about 3 weeks behind the times.

And Sean- your meme about blogging's effect on me is next on my list. :)

XO- Ya up for it? Or are ya feeling all crotchity since Dash left?
Protium- Yes. I know. You can't be bothered. But I bet you can come up with some interesting bits about yourself.
Harry Nads- You can leave it here if you're so inclined. :)
T&A- gets a mention because I miss his blog like crazy and hope things are well in the friendly skies.
LaLibertina- who recently showed up again on Atheist Nexus, some of us knew her as EvolveIntoBirds. YAY!!!!
Richard- Put the brandy down and tell us about yourself. :)

Monday, December 1, 2008

withdrawal

Dialup

so

slow

as to be nearly

un

bare

able.

Can't even check in on my most favoritest blogs (if you're reading this, it's yours) *sigh*

And forget browsing LOLCats. AARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!

This is to let you know I'm alive, I'm well (if a bit stressed) and I miss you like crazy.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

my LOL cat Neko

Ahm in ur maynger
sittin on yer saveyer.

Friday, November 28, 2008

muslims hate redheads

Someone from West Orange, NJ showed up on my blog after google searching
muslims hate redheads
Well we redheads hate 'em right back. 'sides. Mama says they're just jealous 'cause they can't have awesome flame shot hair like we do, 'less they set themselves on fire. HEY!!! Maybe that's why Muslims are suicide bombers. It's the only time in their life they have red hair. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! Fuckers.

And I'm pretty sure the newest idiot fundy showed up on Proof There Is No God by google searching
atheist scranton
Wonder who he was stalking that he ended up here? I bet that's the name of his "intelligent atheist friend" he was referring to in his comment. Check out the stupidity. Warning. May cause significant drop in IQ.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Arrived safe and sound

Am on dialup.

OiVAY is it slow.

How slow is it?

Funny you should ask. While my yahoo mail was loading the page that lists the emails, I towel dried, conditioned and combed my hair. JUST to see what new emails had arrived.

*sigh*

Thank you heaps for your well wishes!!!! Will post pictures later today or tomorrow.

Am hoping to do a bit of blog reading AFTER I clean up my parents computer a bit.

:)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

follow up


to the post about their being no excuses.

Do NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK


The picture.... my eyes..... AARRRGGGGHHHHH

yes. i had to blog about this before taking apart my laptop and packing it into the car.

How will I see the road.

AARRGGGHHHHHH

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

We're off to Montana for Thanksgiving

This message brought to you by LOL Cats.

Mom and Dad are spending Thanksgiving in Arizona with my brother and have asked if the kids and I could stay at their house and feed their cats.



So Wednesday is road trip day. I'm pretty sure I'm mostly almost all packed.



The place is pretty much totally vaccumed but the smegging kitchen got dirty while I wasn't looking. And if there are still dirty dishes there when I get back from Montana.... I'll only have myself to blame. FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!!!! I hate coming home to dirty dishes. Fingers crossed I can get them done before I leave tomorrow.



so... It's up at 6:30am and on the road by 7:30am (or as soon as possible there after).



And here I sit blogging at 11:30pm. *rolls eyes*

Monday, November 17, 2008

Angry Aussie Day

Monday is Angry Aussie Day. Why? Because I LOVE HIS SENSE OF HUMOR!!!! It's like XO, but Australian. And on Video. WOOO HOO!!!!

I know Poodles, Reed and XO are all HUGE Barak Obama supporters. And I found myself wondering, how much is too much?

And lo and behold, Mr. Angry has an answer.

Enjoy!!!!



I LOVE ANGRY AUSSIE!!! In a totally blogger friendly, non-stalking, I know he has a family, kind of way.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

proof there is no god

Britain horrified by baby abuse death

And well they fucking should be.

Two days before Baby P died, a doctor failed to spot he had a broken back, eight fractured ribs and was paralysed from the waist down.

How do you fail to notice that a baby's BACK is broken???? And that's not all the incompetent fucker failed to notice either. Check it out.

Baby P had been punched so hard he swallowed a tooth. The attack, causing a neck injury that affected his breathing, was probably the fatal blow, England's Old Bailey central criminal court in London heard.

Among his other injuries, Baby P's ears were torn, fingernails and fingertips were missing and his lips were ripped.


This poor little 17 month old boy, known only as Baby P was used as a punching bag by the adults responsible for his care and well-being.

Any adult. ANY. Adult. That uses a child as a punching bag deserves to get the same in kind and to live and die in the manner they inflicted on the child.

Striking a child is NEVER appropriate. This innocent, died in a blood-spattered cot in August last year, having spent much of his life being used as a punchbag.



Social workers, police and health professionals failed to save him despite 60 visits over eight months, during which he suffered more than 50 injuries.


S.I.X.T.Y. visits from people who were in a position of authority to remove him from the situation.

A loving god would never allow an innocent to suffer. A big fuck-you to anyone who believes in original sin. And a double fuck-you to anyone who has ever said "There is none without sin, not one." or "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god".

An omniscient creator knows EVERYTHING. And in creating man KNEW exactly what would happen to Baby P and said, "Fuck it. And fuck him. I want worshippers. So the creation goes forward".

Fuck that. The christian god, should it exist, should be fought and resisted by every MORAL person who has ever lived.

Good thing there isn't a god. Of any kind.

The Duh Factor: TWO

Catholic bishops will fight Obama on abortion

No shit. Really? Catholic bishops are against abortion? Nooooo!!! And they're going to use their position of authority in the Catholic Church to try and force politicians to kow-tow to the churches political views? You're kidding.

Oh, and get this. They've established a brand new "Blessing of a Child in the Womb". Awwwww they've given the little tumor it's own special prayer. And any Catholic politician that supports a woman's right to CHOOSE when to have or NOT to have a baby can just stop taking communion until they fix their attitude.

Fuckwits.

Oh, and a big fuck you to Bishop Joseph Martino of Scranton, PA who singled out Vice President-elect Biden, a Catholic, Scranton native who supports abortion rights. "I cannot have a vice president-elect coming to Scranton to say he's learned his values there when those values are utterly against the teachings of the Catholic Church," Martino said.

It's not about love is it Bishop Martino? It's about power and control. And women with children are easier to control. You threaten with excommunication and damnation, you control through fear and intimidation. Where's the love of Christ for christ's sake?

DUH!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

the question is what NOT to blog about

Ohio grandma gives birth to daughter's triplets
Weird. Ewwww. Yuck. and again I say... Weird!

Air rage passenger duct-taped to seat "Flight attendants were forced to duct tape a passenger to her seat after she allegedly hit the buttocks of one of the crew and fell on a blind passenger."
T&A would be soooooo all over this! We miss you T&A and hope you are well. You promised an autumnal return, well, fall is here. We wantcha back!!!!! :)

I can't even begin to blog quickly enough about all the awful things that are happening in the world right now because more and more keep showing up.

Murder, death, rape, kidnappings, the wretched economy and smiling politicians planning to make it all better by taking away more of our freedoms and more of our rights and expecting us to thank them for the privilege of their loss.

Five homeless found shot dead
Poor bastards.


The new get rich quick scheme in Mexico is the ole ransom the child scheme.
Five suspected kidnappers, including a woman and a 17-year-old youth who knew the victim's family, had sought a 300,000-peso ($34,000) ransom after kidnapping the child on October 26, Mexico City's prosecutor's office said. Kidnappers killed a five-year-old boy by injecting acid into his heart after finding out police were closing in on them, prosecutors in Mexico say.
So they took the kid, hoping to wring money from his poor broke family, thought they were going to get caught and killed the poor tyke.


Australia's compulsory internet filtering 'costly, ineffective'

The Federal Government is planning to make internet censorship compulsory for all Australians and could ban controversial websites on euthanasia or anorexia.

Australia's level of net censorship will put it in the same league as countries including China, Cuba, Iran and North Korea, and the Government will not let users opt out of the proposed national internet filter when it is introduced.



Big Brother is here. You will be watched and we will take care of you. One way or another.

Now now, not to fear, they will do a test run. "The pilot will specifically test filtering against the ACMA blacklist of prohibited content, which is mostly child pornography, as well as filtering of other unwanted content," Senator Conroy told Parliament.

Other unwanted content. Determined by whom? Who the fuck are you to determine what I look at on the internet?? What constitutes unwanted content? Content that is anti-Kevin Rudd? Content that says the Aussie National Anthem is a boring piece of twaddle? Content that says "Everybody should fuck a kangaroo at least once?"

My daughter is 100% safe from predators online. Because I am her mother and I control the access she has to the internet. My kid. My responsibility.

And if I want to read about how to kill myself or starve myself thin, who the fuck are you to tell me otherwise?

Get the government the FUCK out of my life!!!!!!!

Zeus and Isis Invoked

Lonesome George, the last of it's kind, may also be infertile. At the ripe age of 90 and just hitting his sexual prime, the hits just keep on a coming for this poor fellow.

1- encouraged to mate with 2 male tortoises. HEY!!! We didn't know those two were male mkay?

2- placed with two female tortoises (we hope) but shows no interest.

3- 6 months of failed genital manipulation by female staff member to produce semen sample for artificial insemination. Six MONTHS of trying before the grant money ran out. That's right. She got grant money to jack off the world's rarest tortoise for 180 days.

4- He finally manages to fertilize some eggs when horror of horrors, 80% have failed to quicken. Being the only known survivor of a species of tortoise and the world's rarest animal, the other 20% of his fertilized eggs are being kept in an incubator painted with religious figures.

Yeah, THAT should improve their odds of survival.

*rolls eyes*

God's Will in Action

This letter, shown here in it's original Russian, points to God's will in action. Something we don't often see so easily in our cynical world.

Praise be to the Father in whom all things are possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Самая дорогая Голова Русской православной церкви,

Я сожалею сообщить Вам это.... Я потерял Церковь Восстановления Христа, тот в центральной российской деревне Komarovo. Вы знаете один ..., это было построено в 1809. Хорошо... Это Пошло.

Heh heh.

Я кротко прошу вашего прощения ваш Emminence. Это было желание Бога afterall.


Любовь в Оружии Христа
Отец Витэли


TRANSLATION OF ACTUAL LETTER!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dearest Head of Russian Orthodox Church,

I regret to inform you that.... I've lost the The Church of Christ's Resurrection, the one in the central Russian village of Komarovo. You know the one... it was built in 1809. Well...It's gone.

Heh heh.

I humbly beg your forgiveness your Emminence. It was God's Will afterall.


Love in Christ's Arms
Father Vitaly

What am I missing here?

Could someone explain to me please why the hell we have to bail out car companies that are hurt by this economic crisis?

We're all hurt by the fucking crisis. How is taking tax dollars and giving it to Ford or General Motors or who-the-fuck-big-business-ever going to help me pay the mortgage by the 15th of November and December and January and February etc...????

If you put out the fire by dumping more gasoline on it, why are you surprised when the house burns faster????



Seriously. What am I missing?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Seth Green LOLs Oz

And now in true LOLCat fashion Seth Green visits Australia.

I'm in your country
Clmbing your Opera House.


“I gave my camera to a buddy who was with me and said: ‘I’m only going to be able to be up there for two seconds so you will only have one chance to take a photo of me’.”

Green ran at Australia’s iconic building, jumped into the crevice and kept moving until he was 11 metres above the ground.


“I got to the high point and turned around, my friend took the photo, but it was only then I realised just how steep the incline was and on the way down I didn’t have a lot of stopping ability,” he said.

“But, the moment I was ready to slide down and burn the soles off my shoes, a security guard walked around the corner.

“I had to press as tight as I could to the crevice and somehow stay up there.”

The friendly security guard, clueless a Hollywood movie star was hanging above him, began talking to Green’s friend and a publicist that was with them.

The guard thought they were American tourists fascinated about the building’s structure so launched into a detailed description of the landmark’s history.

“I was directly above the guy’s head and about to fall,” Green said.

“The publicist was so slick and ended up saying: ‘I’m interested in this part of the building right over here’ and took him around the corner.

“As soon as he turned the corner I slid all the way down and when I hit the ground I went straight into a cool walk as if nothing happened.”


Godfather abused child 'as life lesson'

This is fucked up all the way around.

A Queensland pharmacist tried to justify molesting his young god-daughter by saying it was his responsibility to teach her the facts of life, a Brisbane court has heard.

You sick evil fuck, there should be (but isn't) a special hell for sicko's like you to rot in.

The 66-year-old man, who cannot be identified, on Tuesday was jailed for 18 months after pleading guilty in the Brisbane District Court to six counts of indecent treatment of a child under 12 under care.

He pleaded guilty. Wonder if he will lose his pharmacist license.

The court was told the offences took place on three separate occasions in 1989 and 1990 when the girl was aged just eight and nine.

What the fuck was the year again? 1989??? Jesus Christ I was still in highschool!!!!!!!

On the first occasion, the man drove the girl and her sister to his pharmacy in Wynnum, east of Brisbane, where he masturbated himself in front of them.

He also asked the girls to masturbate him, then told the complainant she was "no good" at it.

Prosecutor Kila Peddy said the second incident occurred at the man's home, where he encouraged the two sisters to shower while he undressed and watched them.

On the third occasion, he asked the girls to unroll a condom on his erect penis.


Ok, that is all kinds of disgusting. This man should get his cock handed to him in a jar of formaldehyde.

Mr Peddy said the complainant told her parents about the abuse that evening, and that her father confronted the man about the allegations.

That evening. THAT EVENING!!!!! Hold the fucking phone right there. DADDY KNEW!!!!! The story had better damn well continue that the father then fed the godfather his nose after removing it with a pair of industrial strength bolt clippers.

He [Mr. Peddy] said the man admitted to the condom incident, but tried to justify it by saying he had been made godfather on the understanding he might one day have to explain the facts of life to the girls.

AND THEN DAD FED THE MAN HIS NOSE... RIGHT??? RIGHT?????

The court was told the girl did not make a complaint until 2007...

What... the... fuck.... 18 years later????? And Daddy knew.

...and that the man was shocked when he was arrested.

Well no fucking shit he was shocked. Jesus Christ it was 20 goddamned years later. He probably barely remembers doing it the sick old fuck.

His 18-month sentence will be suspended after he has served three months.

Yeah, that's fair. You make little girls touch your pee-pee and watch them shower and then get to beat off to those fantasies for the next 18 years. Yeah, 3 months ought to teach you a lesson, you pervert.

Oh- and a big ole "fuck you" to the father who let the pharmacist keep his nose and his privates in tact.

And don't even get me started on the fact that this was a god-ordained relationship.

Laughed Until I Cried- ONE

This Angry Aussie made me laugh until I had tears rolling down my face and my stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

It has foul language, anger, and disgusting toilet humor in it. If that causes your panties to wrinkle please click HERE instead of starting the YouTube video.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Duh Factor

Palin blames Bush policies for GOP defeat

Jesus Fucking Christ you empty headed bimbo. Ya think????? Do we need any more proof that you were on the ticket to get the Vag vote?

Fuck me sideways... please... but what the fuck did you think lost you the election? Unwanted facial hair on the Newsweek cover????

DUH!!!!!!!

The Pastor's Ass

In honor of the priest who put a tater in his bum, I give you the story of the Pastor's Ass, forwarded to me by OzA, may his holly berries be red and merry. Errrr. His holidays be merry and bright. Or... something. 8-}

~~~~~~~~~~~
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read:


PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.


The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper read:


BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.


This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:


NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.


The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for £10.

The next day the paper read:


NUN SELLS ASS FOR £10.


This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:


NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.


The bishop was buried the next day.


The moral of the story is . . .. being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Islam is Fucked Up Part 7

Yeah, this guy is totally believable.



ZOMG! Muslims must be a nation of fuckwits if this passes for real knowledge.

Check out more stupid over on Protium's blog. But be warned, IQ points may drop drastically.

AARRRGGGGHHHHHH

Welcome Back!!!!! :)

Thump Thump Eyes and Protium have BOTH got new blog posts up. HOORAY!!!!!!!

It's been a long time in coming. Head on over and give them a look see.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Quips for the Day

"When girls go wild they flash their boobs. When women go wild, they kill men."
- Louis C.K. on loving older women.

"I voted once in 2004 and all I got out of it was George Bush and Jury Duty... so I'm done.
- John Caparulo

"Winning 'Best Supporting Actor in a Music Video' is like one step above eating the most mashed potatoes."
- Rodney Carrington on his CMT Award

"My dog reminds me of my ex-husband. He's not pulling his weight financially and he's afraid of the vacuum."
- Karen Rontowski

"Sloppy Joes are just burgers that got their asses kicked."
- Donnie Baker on beating your food like Tom beats his cereal

"You don't want to be in the back row of a nude yoga class."
-Kristi Lee

And the number one most awesome piece of news I got today came from XO via Twitter and I quote, "$1.68 gas". End quote.

WOO to the FUCKING WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Richard. But DAYUM it's been a long time in coming. And more to the point.... It's about fucking time now keep it that way you sums of bitches.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I lost control today


I'm so ashamed.


Protium did too.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Sex Education: Advanced Techniques

Did you hear the one about the vicar?

In a "completely NON sexual related injury" a vicar went to the emergency room with a potato up his bum.

Apparently the incident happened while he was hanging curtains.... in his kitchen.... while naked... with potatoes set out on the table behind him.

Who could possibly have anticipated he would tragically end up with a POTATO in his poop shoot?

BULLSHIT!! Bull fucking shit you lying fundy!!!!!! And keep your lying hands and eyes off kids and anyone else in your "pastoral" care.

A VICAR turned up in agony at a hospital — with a potato stuck in his bottom.

By ALASTAIR TAYLOR
Published: 31 Oct 2008

A VICAR turned up in agony at a hospital — with a potato stuck in his bottom.

The clergyman told stunned casualty nurses he fell backwards on to his kitchen table while hanging curtains.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap.

The embarrassed reverend, in his 50s, had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the offending vegetable.

The spud was yesterday revealed to be among a litany of objects medics in Sheffield have removed from people’s nether regions.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll — and a carnation.

Like most of the other patients, the red-faced vicar insisted to staff at the city’s Northern General Hospital that his predicament was NOT the result of a sex game gone wrong.

A & E nurse Trudi Watson said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

“But it’s not for me to question his story.

“He had to undergo surgery to have it removed.”

She admitted some sex-related emergencies had made staff chuckle. But she urged anyone contemplating sticking something where the sun doesn’t shine to think again.

Ms Watson said: “My advice? Don’t do it.

“It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening.

“Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.”

Health staff across Sheffield, Barnsley, Rotherham and Doncaster say they are no longer surprised at the things people use to spice up fun in the bedroom.

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: “Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

“But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way.”


How many Hail Mary's for installing window blinds in your birthday suit?



FUNDY SEX EDUCATION: Attention Catholic Priests and various Vicars


THIS...


DOES NOT GO IN HERE.....


Anything you put in your bum needs to have a retrieval cord or handle attached to it or be attached to a human being.

Thank you and happy spelunking. Class dismissed.





Hat Tip to Atilla the Mom for the heads up on this one! Cheers! :)

Christians oppose Obama

One would assume it was for good reasons- his stance on abortion or his support of gay marriage. But do you want to know the real reason why evangelical fuckwitted christians won't vote for Barack Obama? I guarantee this will make your brain bleed out your nose.

(formatted for legibility but not for stupidity, grammar, or spelling)

How long is the beast allowed to have authority in Revelation?
.....Revelation Chapter 13 tells us it is 42 months, and you know what that is. Almost a four-year term of a Presidency.

According to The Book of Revelation the Anti-Christ is:
....The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40's, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal.

The prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything.

Do we recognize this description?? Each opportunity that you have to send it to a friend I refuse to take a chance on this unknown candidate who came out
of nowhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: Dr. John Tisdale Dear
Friends, As I was listening to a news program last night, I watched in horror as Barack Obama
made the statement with pride. . .'we are no longer a Christian nation; we are now a nation of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, . . .' As with so many other statements I've heard him (and his wife) make, I never thought I'd see the day that I'd hear something like that from a presidential candidate in this nation.

To think our forefathers fought and died for the right for our nation to be a Christian nation--and to have this man say with pride that we are no longer that. How far this nation has come from what our founding fathers intended it to be.

I hope that each of you will do what I'm doing now--send your concerns, written simply and sincerely, to the Christians on your email list. With God's help, and He is still in control of this nation and all else, we can show this man and the world in November that we are, indeed, still a Christian nation!

Please pray for our nation!

All I can say is 'Lord, Have mercy on us!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vote Obama and piss off the fundies!!!!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Daylight Savings Time

I missed it. Didn't notice the time difference on my mobile until 5:45pm or rather... 4:45 pm and I was wondering why the school room clock differed so markedly from the one on my phone.

This post
by XO is brilliant (as per usual) and I'm resposting it here. Because it's funny, true, and a great read. Copying the pictures and uploading them was a real bitch, but worth it.

And now I give you Xavier Onassis Guest Blogger Extraordinaire.
~~~~~~~
Daylight Savings Time They Have
It Exactly Ass Backwards



This illogical, poorly reasoned pustule of a subject has been festering within me for a long time (you're already scared to read anymore, aitcha?).

The final straw came when my friend Satyavati incredulously pasted a post from some Arkansas chucklehead who said the following:


Daylight exacerbates warning (sic)

You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two. This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they ? Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects.

~ CONNIE M. MESKIMEN / Hot Springs


I was as stunned by the sheer idiocy of these comments as Satyavati was.

Ms. Meskimen's "reasoning" is ridiculous.

We all know the number of daylight hours vs. nighttime hours doesn't change because of the way we set our clocks. It is governed by earth's orbit around the sun and the tilt of earth's axis.




No legislation can change that.

However.

I have long contended that the economic justifications for daylight savings time are completely bogus and the result is exactly the opposite of what was intended.

Stick with me here.

The original justification for "extending" the daylight hours by moving the clock forward an hour was to save energy costs.


"In general, energy use and the demand for electricity for lighting our homes is directly connected to when we go to bed and when we get up. Bedtime for most of us is late evening through the year. When we go to bed, we turn off the lights and TV.

In the average home, 25 percent of all the electricity we use is for lighting and small appliances, such as TVs, VCRs and stereos. A good percentage of energy consumed by lighting and appliances occurs in the evening when families are home. By moving the clock ahead one hour, we can cut the amount of electricity we consume each day.

Studies done in the 1970s by the U.S. Department of Transportation show that we trim the entire country's electricity usage by about one percent EACH DAY with Daylight Saving Time.

Daylight Saving Time "makes" the sun "set" one hour later and therefore reduces the period between sunset and bedtime by one hour. This means that less electricity would be used for lighting and appliances late in the day. We may use a bit more electricity in the morning because it is darker when we rise, but that is usually offset by the energy savings in the evening.

We also use less electricity because we are home fewer hours during the "longer" days of spring and summer. Most people plan outdoor activities in the extra daylight hours. When we are not at home, we don't turn on the appliances and lights. A poll done by the U.S. Department of Transportation indicated that Americans liked Daylight Saving Time because "there is more light in the evenings / can do more in the evenings."


Bull. Fucking. Shit.

This line of reasoning assumes that the majority of Americans think "OH, I'm off work and it's as bright as a fucking laser shining directly in my eyes! It's hotter than a goddamned white dwarf star! It's as humid as Satan's crotch in a pair of leather pants! I don't want to go home and relax after a torturous day of taking un-lubed dick up the ass for some else's enrichment! I'm not anxious to brush and gargle the taste of corporate cock out of my mouth, have a couple of drinks and watch some mindless HDTV. Let me get out there and engage in activities with large crowds of closely packed, smelly, sweaty people I don't know and DO STUFF! It's summer! Yippee!"

That's ridiculous.

That's just stupid!

For people like me, that means that I am hunkered down at home with the AC cranked to the max, lights on, watching TV all evening until it cools down enough to go outside and do something without sweating like a whore in church! Under the fascist daylight savings time regime, that's around 9:30pm!

If it started getting dark and cooling off an hour earlier, at 8:30 like a hypothetical, non-existent, god intended, I would be shutting that stuff off and getting out of the house an hour earlier.

So instead of sheltering from the heat at maximum AC for 4 hours after work, I'd only be doing it for 3 hours.

THAT would save energy and money!

I think they have it exactly backwards.





In the winter, on regular time, it's getting dark by 5:30pm. You are barely home from work and it's night time. That's depressing.

They should move the clocks forward in the winter! That would help equalize the drastic difference between summer and winter.

Instead of a four hour differential (5:30/9:30) between the onset of darkness between the seasons, there would only be a two hour differential (6:30/8:30).

Doesn't that make more sense than adding emphasis to the cold, dark depression of winter and the endless, blazing heat and humidity of summer?

Seriously, people.

Isn't reducing holiday season suicides in the dead of winter more important than giving pop-collared douche bags more time to ogle tits-gone-wild at the party cove during the summer?







Christ, I just re-read that last sentence. Of course it isn't! Duh! What the fuck was I thinking?

Never mind.

Who wants beads? WOO HOO! FREE BIRD! FREE BIRD!



~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you XO!!

And now back to our regularly scheduled blogging.

Sarah Palin prank call

Link to prank
by Les Justiciers Masques


Not that pwning Palin is a shock or much of a challenge even (there being so much material to work with) but this group went the extra measure.

Palin hoaxed by comedy prank call
November 2, 2008, 8:59 am

Republican vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin on Saturday was the victim of a prank phone call by a French-Canadian comedian impersonating French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

After Palin realised the call was a hoax, her campaign staff admitted she was "mildly amused".

The prank tag-team from Quebec, "Justicia masques", who have previously targeted heads of state and celebrities, posted the conversation on their website (www.justiciers.tv).

In the recording, John McCain's running mate enthusiastically takes the fake Sarkozy's call.

"It's so good to hear you, thank you for calling us ... we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you!" Palin said.

She appeared unfazed by the fake president's thick French accent and some outrageous comments.

At one point the impersonator, comedian Sebastien Trudel, told the Alaskan governor he is following the US elections closely along with his special American adviser Johnny Hallyday - a famous French rock'n'roll singer.

When the fake president told Palin his wife Carla Bruni is "hot in bed", the governor chuckled and complimented him for his "beautiful family".

Palin also proffered to continue relations if she reaches the White House.

"We should go hunting together," Palin said.

Palin laughed in response to Trudel's comment: "I just love killing those animals ... take away life, that is so fun!"

The governor, who is making a whistle-stop tour through key states in the last weekend before the November 4 election, told the fake president that she is "very confident" about the Republican ticket's chances, and said she thought "the race is tightening" ahead of Tuesday's general election.

"I see you as a president one day, too," said the comedian.

"Maybe in eight years," replied Palin.

The comedy duo have previously used their Sarkozy impersonation to target former French president Jacques Chirac, celebrities Mick Jagger and Britney Spears, and Sarkozy himself.

"This was our most explosive coup so far," comedian Marc Antoine Audette told AFP, adding that it was "difficult" for his accomplice Trudel to get their request for a phone conversation past Palin's entourage and her Secret Service detail.

The McCain campaign later released a statement about the phone call.

"Governor Palin was mildly amused to learn that she had joined the ranks of heads of state, including President Sarkozy, and other celebrities in being targeted by these pranksters. C'est la vie."

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Open Forum 19

It's like a do it yourself FAQ post.

You ask, I'll answer.

Curiosity killed the cat
but satisfaction brought him back. :)

Islam is Fucked part 6

Somali rape victim, 13, stoned to death
November 2, 2008, 7:03 am

A 13-year-old girl who said she had been raped was stoned to death in Somalia after being accused of adultery by Islamic militants, a human rights group says.

Dozens of men stoned Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow to death October 27 in a stadium packed with 1,000 spectators in the southern port city of Kismayo, Amnesty International and Somali media reported, citing witnesses. The Islamic militia in charge of Kismayo had accused her of adultery after she reported that three men had raped her, the rights group said.

Initial local media reports said Duhulow was 23, but her father told Amnesty International she was 13. Some of the Somali journalists who first reported the killing later told Amnesty International that they had reported she was 23 based upon her physical appearance.

"This child suffered a horrendous death at the behest of the armed opposition groups who currently control Kismayo," David Copeman, Amnesty International's Somalia campaigner, said in a statement.

Somalia is among the world's most violent and impoverished countries. The nation of eight million people has not had a functioning government since warlords overthrew a dictator in 1991 then turned on each other.

A quarter of Somali children die before age five; nearly every public institution has collapsed. Fighting is a daily occurrence, with violent deaths reported almost daily.

Islamic militants with ties to al-Qaeda have been battling the government and its Ethiopian allies since their combined forces pushed the Islamists from the capital in December 2006. Within weeks of being driven out, the Islamists launched an insurgency that has killed thousands of civilians.

In recent months, the militants appear to be gaining strength. The group has taken over the port of Kismayo, Somalia's third-largest city, and dismantled pro-government roadblocks. They also effectively closed the Mogadishu airport by threatening to attack any plane using it.


~~~~~~~~~~

"Religion of Peace" my fucking ARSE!!!

I can't tell if this is the same woman referred to in part 4 of this series or not. If it is, then I owe the poor child an apology as I called her a fuckwit for chosing Sharia law. But if she was 13 then there was no "choosing".

And the fact that they filled a stadium with 1000's of spectators for this child's death is an utter abomination.

Why do Muslims hate us?

Because they believe the behavior on the left is an abomination.

And the behavior on the right should be forced upon the world with a sword.
FUCK THAT!!!!!!

Islam is Fucked Part 5

Thanks to Protium for the heads up on this one.

*Disclaimer*
Brane wil hurtz if watches hole thing!



And get a load of this bullshit. Fucking weirdos!!!!!!

Pakistani police raid child wedding/
November 1, 2008, 7:46 am

Police raided a wedding between a seven-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl in Pakistan's largest city, arresting the Muslim cleric officiating at the ceremony and the children's parents, a senior officer said.

The cleric had not yet begun the ceremony in Karachi , which was attended by 100 guests, said deputy superintendent of police Malik Mazhar.

Pakistan law forbids marriage below the age of 18, but some Muslim scholars say it is permissible if the bride and groom have reached puberty.

TV footage showed both children in traditional wedding clothes in the laps of policemen after the raid, the girl with tears running down her cheeks.

The parents said the wedding had been arranged to end an eight-year feud between the two families, according to a report on Express News TV.

Mazhar said he had heard about similar cases in rural areas but "it is shocking to have this right in the centre of the city".

The parents would be brought before a court, he said.

A Pakistan Human Rights Commission official, Hina Gillani, said the maximum possible punishment for the parents was one month in jail and a fine of just over $US10 ($A15).


- Settling a family feud by marrying children? What ever happened to betrothing them for a few years. Like Europeans did... back in the MIDDLE FUCKING AGES!!!!!!!!!!!

- The kids were sitting in the policemen's laps???? THEIR LAPS????? I don't really care if they were, but writing about it in this context made it seem creepy. Maybe the kids found it comforting be held on stranger's laps, I don't know. I doubt mine would. In fact both of my kids (11 and 15) would be freaked out at being held on armed strangers with the power of life and death over them. But then... they're homeschooled so....


...
ok... time to stop adding to blog posts after only 3 hours sleep.

Smell ya later!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Reg Golb

aka Butt Nugget, aka Glob I hereby lift the ban from my blog that was placed upon you.

Why?

First of all, as an atheist, I don't believe in eternal damnation. Or for the softer christians... I also don't believe in eternal banishment from god's presence.

Second of all, as a parent, no child should stay in a time-out for too long.

Third, while he may have learned nothing from our discussions, he gave Richard and the rest of us many opportunities to explain things fully, to chew on difficult subjects and to clarify our own thinking on various issues.

Fourth, I just don't stay mad that long and I'm over it. If he wants to bring his bat and ball back and play with us, it's ok with me.

Fifth, we haven't played smear the queer in YONKS! *snerk*

Happy Halloween

Took the kids trick-or-treating for the first time in many years.

My son as a ninja swordsmen.


The Master Swordsman and my daughter as a ninja clansmaster along with Vice President hopeful Biden campaigning a bit.


Two cool carved pumpkins found on a stranger's doorstep.

Thought of Joe and XO with this devil and his play girl.


And Presidential hopeful Obama had a good time as well.

Hope everyone had a safe and happy Halloween, I know that XO did. :)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Islam is Fucked Up Part 4

Richard Guest Blogger

ADULTERY....do not do it in Mogadishu, Somalia! Yep, another woman stoned to death.

Apparently she "stressed" that she wished to be subject to Sharia Law. So being stoned to death was better than a non-Sharia punishment. Exactly what would that punishment have been?

Oh, yes. The man gets no punishment at all. He can rape a woman, but has no need to kill her to cover up his crime, the Law will do it for him.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for the heads up Richard!

The fuckwitted woman was buried in the ground up to the neck, her head covered in a black bag, and stoned.to.death.

Thousands of people gathered Monday to witness 50 Somali men stone a woman to death after an Islamic court in the southern port of Kismayo found her guilty of adultery, witnesses said.

THOUSANDS of people gathered to witness the stoning. THOUSANDS. You fucked up twisted evil cunts.

Islam is FUCKED!!!! And Sharia Law is a barbarous evil. Now I feel ill.

SIL ly LOL cats









More fun can be had at I Can Haz Cheezberger

Sunday, October 26, 2008

no more excuses

If he can*, by god so can the rest of us.

World's fattest man weds friend's widow

Mexican Manuel Uribe, the world's fattest man in the 2007 Guinness Book of Records, married his friend's widow in a televised ceremony the US Discovery Channel dubbed My Big Fat Mexican Wedding.

Despite shedding 230 kilograms from 590 kilograms early on this year, Uribe, 43, had to be carried by a crane on his bed, where he has been confined for years, to the makeshift altar at a venue 30 minutes from his home.


"Daddy, Daddy tell us again how you got to the church on time?"

"Hyuh hyuh, why I travellded by crane son."

Why the fat mexican turned into a stupid hillbilly is beyond me. Do you suppose she is on top? I bet there's some nasty porn out there that could explain it to me.

Oh, and for family friendly porn, send me an email and I'll forward a snatch to you. Fun stuff!!!!!! And nearly safe for work.



*Get laid, that is. The fuck if I'm ever going to get married. Except perhaps to gain citizenship. That I would consider.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I forgot my Mom's birthday



It's tomorrow. (Sunday October 26th) I feel like complete shit about forgetting it. There's nothing I can do that will negate the fact that I didn't remember in time to send her something. FFFUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!! Not even a card.

AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!


I've been so wrapped up in my own little personal drama that I haven't thought about anybody but myself in months.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Merry Thanksgivoween

I have two large plastic totes filled with nifty cool Halloween decorations and 1/5th of my garage is dedicated to Chrismas decorations. And I'm really not sure I can be bothered this year with all the put it up, take it down. *sigh* So I've drawn out my decorating scheme. This outta keep me covered for awhile.



Thanks TraceyT for the idea!! :)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Islam is fucked up: part 3

Sometimes even a spanking isn't good enough.

Trouble with your pre-teen wearing lipstick and slutty clothing? Or maybe the little pre-slut just won't let you diddle her pooter?

Well here's Ahmal Achmed Jazeer Alibaba the Conservative Muslim Uncle's advice, "Torch the little bitch. Douse her in keroseen, flick the bic and light her up."


Girl set alight for wearing lipstick


An 11-year-old girl has been set on fire by a relative in India's northern city of Jaipur for wearing lipstick and being inappropriately dressed.

Police say the girl suffered burns over 90 per cent of her body and her chances of survival are bleak.

They've arrested her great uncle who allegedly poured kerosene on the girl and set her alight yesterday.

Investigators say the 55-year-old man, a conservative Muslim, told the police he was enraged at the girl wearing lipstick and being scantily dressed.

But relatives have accused the man of trying to molest the girl and setting her on fire when she objected.

AAP



A big "fuck you" to any Muslim out there who doesn't strongly object to that "great" uncle's actions.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

what do you think of the presidential candidates



Yep, that about sums it up. Thanks LOLCats!!! :)

Islam is fucked up: part 2

Remember the couple who were cured of their smoking habbit (him) and asthma and liver disease (her) by an unusual "medical ritual" which involved being beaten with crash helmets and broom sticks and having their heads repeatedly bashed against a table?? Yeah, that one.

Well, three of the four medical professionals conducting the ritual, the couple's 19 year old son, a 21 year old male and a 23 year old male- who was given credit for the idea, are being charged with murder.

No word on the fourth assistant whose 15 year old daughter was beaten severely for walking in during the procedure.

Here is Pat Condell's latest video and his response to having his previous video censored by youtube.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

catholic priest

A priest books into a hotel and says to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she says, "it's just normal porn.................... you sick bastard."


Why? Because fuck them, that's why.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Inflammatory Breast Cancer

There are no lumps, and it won't show up on a mammagram.

Symptoms of Inflammatory Breast Cancer

* Rapid increase in breast size

* Redness

* Skin hot to the touch

* Persistent itching

* Thickening of breast tissue




For more information click here.

Thanks to my dear brother Protium for a heads up on this!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

the real news

Anybody else feel like the only real news out there is Jon Stewart?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Islam is fucked up evil incarnate

Ramadan: A time for the Muslims (i.e. fuckwits) to starve themselves from sun up to sun down for 30 days in honor of the revelation of the Koran to Muhammed. After an entire month of self-denial, what better way to celebrate the return of the pleasures of the flesh than to head over to the relatives for food and fun?

Too bad that you and your wife have a few faults that the in-laws don't approve of. So how do they help you with your smoking problem and her asthma and liver disease? Why using the same time honored techniques the christians use with their children. They "beat the hell" out of them.

"I wish that all fathers of households stand forth and practice their role. They will use the rod and not permit their children to go astray. Firmness is needed in your world that is filled with laxity, permissiveness, and degradation. Your children have been misled by many who shall answer to the Father. As teachers they have failed in their role. Therefore, as parents you must succeed in yours." - St. Joseph, March 18, 1973

As the Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

Quoted from a site that shouts with glee over the joys of spanking your child.

Only this time the spanking is Muslim-style. Not with an open palm, wooden spoon, hair brush or belt. Oh no. When the relatives come a knockin' they are right head bangers and broom swingers. Oh, and you don't get to wear the crash helmet, they're going to beat you with it.

Not only that, but in the heat of the moment and glutted with the pleasure of beating the devil from these tainted Muslim relatives, the daughter of one of the "administers" of this time honored medical ritual walked in and got the ouchy end of the stick as well.

Here's the full article.

Two Malaysians die in medical ritual

How the fuck they get away with calling it a medical ritual is beyond me.

October 3, 2008, 11:42 am

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Two Malaysians died and one was severely injured in a ritual designed to help a man overcome his chain-smoking habit and to rid his wife of her asthma and liver diseases.

State news agency Bernama reported that four close relatives smashed the couple's heads on a table and beat them with crash helmets and brooms as part of a ritual to help them overcome their health problems.

Kuala Lumpur CID chief Ku Chin Wah said the ritual was suggested by the relatives who the couple visited as part of celebrations to mark the end of the Muslim fasting month of Ramadan, where they complained of their ill-health.

Perhaps you didn't read the "No Whingeing Allowed" sign when you walked in. Sucks to be you!

"Following this, a 23-year-old male relative suggested that the couple undergo a ritual which involved all family members joining forces to beat up the couple to rid them of their ailments," Ku told reporters on Thursday, according to Bernama.

The 15-year-old daughter of one of the four assailants walked in on the ritual, was severely beaten and was admitted to hospital, Ku said.

(Reporting by David Chance; Editing by Jeremy Laurence)


One thing I will say for them. The cure worked. He no longer has a smoking problem and her asthma and liver disease are thing of the past. Hooray for Islam.

In related news and as further evidence of Islamic yuckiness, I saw over at Sean's blog that Pat Condell's newest video has been banned by Youtube. Oh my dog Pat criticized the Muslims. RRRUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Sean wrote: The video below was banned for terms of use violation. Titled "Welcome to Saudi Britain" it's critical of the Saudi's and Islam, not politically correct but hardly hateful. So why has youtube banned it. Because some touchy Muslim can't take a bit of stick and has a cry. I have seen videos openly supporting the KKK, do they get pulled?

So do Pat a favour watch the video (always good to examine things for yourself) then go to his site and grab the embed and post the video in your own post. And maybe if enough of a stink is made youtube will grow some backbone.

EDIT: It appears that after Hermant at the Friendly Atheist commented about it his videos were targeted.


And now for your viewing pleasure... Pat Condell on the growing influence of Islam.