This post by XO is brilliant (as per usual) and I'm resposting it here. Because it's funny, true, and a great read. Copying the pictures and uploading them was a real bitch, but worth it.
And now I give you Xavier Onassis Guest Blogger Extraordinaire.
It Exactly Ass Backwards
This illogical, poorly reasoned pustule of a subject has been festering within me for a long time (you're already scared to read anymore, aitcha?).
The final straw came when my friend Satyavati incredulously pasted a post from some Arkansas chucklehead who said the following:
Daylight exacerbates warning (sic)
You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two. This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they ? Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects.
~ CONNIE M. MESKIMEN / Hot Springs
I was as stunned by the sheer idiocy of these comments as Satyavati was.
Ms. Meskimen's "reasoning" is ridiculous.
We all know the number of daylight hours vs. nighttime hours doesn't change because of the way we set our clocks. It is governed by earth's orbit around the sun and the tilt of earth's axis.
No legislation can change that.
I have long contended that the economic justifications for daylight savings time are completely bogus and the result is exactly the opposite of what was intended.
Stick with me here.
The original justification for "extending" the daylight hours by moving the clock forward an hour was to save energy costs.
"In general, energy use and the demand for electricity for lighting our homes is directly connected to when we go to bed and when we get up. Bedtime for most of us is late evening through the year. When we go to bed, we turn off the lights and TV.
In the average home, 25 percent of all the electricity we use is for lighting and small appliances, such as TVs, VCRs and stereos. A good percentage of energy consumed by lighting and appliances occurs in the evening when families are home. By moving the clock ahead one hour, we can cut the amount of electricity we consume each day.
Studies done in the 1970s by the U.S. Department of Transportation show that we trim the entire country's electricity usage by about one percent EACH DAY with Daylight Saving Time.
Daylight Saving Time "makes" the sun "set" one hour later and therefore reduces the period between sunset and bedtime by one hour. This means that less electricity would be used for lighting and appliances late in the day. We may use a bit more electricity in the morning because it is darker when we rise, but that is usually offset by the energy savings in the evening.
We also use less electricity because we are home fewer hours during the "longer" days of spring and summer. Most people plan outdoor activities in the extra daylight hours. When we are not at home, we don't turn on the appliances and lights. A poll done by the U.S. Department of Transportation indicated that Americans liked Daylight Saving Time because "there is more light in the evenings / can do more in the evenings."
Bull. Fucking. Shit.
This line of reasoning assumes that the majority of Americans think "OH, I'm off work and it's as bright as a fucking laser shining directly in my eyes! It's hotter than a goddamned white dwarf star! It's as humid as Satan's crotch in a pair of leather pants! I don't want to go home and relax after a torturous day of taking un-lubed dick up the ass for some else's enrichment! I'm not anxious to brush and gargle the taste of corporate cock out of my mouth, have a couple of drinks and watch some mindless HDTV. Let me get out there and engage in activities with large crowds of closely packed, smelly, sweaty people I don't know and DO STUFF! It's summer! Yippee!"
That's just stupid!
For people like me, that means that I am hunkered down at home with the AC cranked to the max, lights on, watching TV all evening until it cools down enough to go outside and do something without sweating like a whore in church! Under the fascist daylight savings time regime, that's around 9:30pm!
If it started getting dark and cooling off an hour earlier, at 8:30 like a hypothetical, non-existent, god intended, I would be shutting that stuff off and getting out of the house an hour earlier.
So instead of sheltering from the heat at maximum AC for 4 hours after work, I'd only be doing it for 3 hours.
THAT would save energy and money!
I think they have it exactly backwards.
In the winter, on regular time, it's getting dark by 5:30pm. You are barely home from work and it's night time. That's depressing.
They should move the clocks forward in the winter! That would help equalize the drastic difference between summer and winter.
Instead of a four hour differential (5:30/9:30) between the onset of darkness between the seasons, there would only be a two hour differential (6:30/8:30).
Doesn't that make more sense than adding emphasis to the cold, dark depression of winter and the endless, blazing heat and humidity of summer?
Isn't reducing holiday season suicides in the dead of winter more important than giving pop-collared douche bags more time to ogle tits-gone-wild at the party cove during the summer?
Christ, I just re-read that last sentence. Of course it isn't! Duh! What the fuck was I thinking?
Who wants beads? WOO HOO! FREE BIRD! FREE BIRD!
Thank you XO!!
And now back to our regularly scheduled blogging.