"When girls go wild they flash their boobs. When women go wild, they kill men."
- Louis C.K. on loving older women.
"I voted once in 2004 and all I got out of it was George Bush and Jury Duty... so I'm done.
- John Caparulo
"Winning 'Best Supporting Actor in a Music Video' is like one step above eating the most mashed potatoes."
- Rodney Carrington on his CMT Award
"My dog reminds me of my ex-husband. He's not pulling his weight financially and he's afraid of the vacuum."
- Karen Rontowski
"Sloppy Joes are just burgers that got their asses kicked."
- Donnie Baker on beating your food like Tom beats his cereal
"You don't want to be in the back row of a nude yoga class."
And the number one most awesome piece of news I got today came from XO via Twitter and I quote, "$1.68 gas". End quote.
WOO to the FUCKING WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry Richard. But DAYUM it's been a long time in coming. And more to the point.... It's about fucking time now keep it that way you sums of bitches.