Tuesday, December 30, 2008

newest book in the Left Behind series

A must have for all conspiracy buffs and those concerned by the coming economic collapse. Frankly, since America now has a black President it will be Armageddon any second now and everybody should read this book. :P

Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.

And that means one thing: investment opportunities!

For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon?

Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, HOW TO PROFIT FROM THE COMING RAPTURE instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.


evolveintobirds said...

This is actually sad but my wasband's grandfather was a strange fellow that had worked on governmental black programs and was very quiet and secretive (he literally didn't speak to anyone in the family for a number of years, including his wife). He became convinced when he was older that god had revealed to him the plan for the rapture and trib. The thing was though, that god wanted him to stay behind as a believer to help people...maybe to give them one last chance to repent? So god told him to invest everything in copper (this was during the mid 70's) so he would have enough money to live on during the tribulation. He wrote a book about it. Needless to say, they ended up penniless, relying on the charity of their children to survive. My fervent believer, former father-in-law is still very, very bitter about the whole thing.

Half rabbit said...

What a great story. It's sad and all, and I in no ways want to laugh at his expense. But somehow the copper just makes the story great (said as someone not old enough to know of copper prices first hand, and instead just things from books)

About the original book it looks great. Those rapture novels are like the porn of religion (badly mutilated quote as I haven't read either side too much (if anyone wants to send me free stuff............well...........feel free, he he he))

Thump Thump Eyes said...

This reminds me of the pet care thing...ugh, words fail me except for..."money making scams"!



Fiery said...

JEEZZZZ I actually read the whole damn thread. You can see their little fundy minds trying to use logic and then running smack up against their own fantasy delusions and then turning and trying again.

Sad, really. Funny, but in a pathetic kind of way.

Thump Thump Eyes said...

Ha, I got sucked in too...and I agree...sad, pathetic and slightly amusing :()

Foundthisbook said...

Hey I saw you mentioned the Left Behind series by Tim LeHaye? I know they are trying to build a community of us fans of the series. If you want to join the group we are at http://www.foundthisbook.com

Fiery said...

Comprehension- FAIL! for FoundThisBook

Had you done anything more than a term search you would know that I find the swill written by Tim LaHaye to be absolute pap of the lowest order. Appealing to fundies who jizz themselves at the thought of the world ending. Well rub your clitty/pecker raw at the war in Iraq but it won't change the fact that Tim LaHaye is a fuckwitted fundy and you just hammered up to the line and admitted you were one to.

Happy Trails moron.