Thursday, September 4, 2008

too late to panic

My parents will be here in 20 minutes.

I've got everything vaccumed. I think the toilets are clean. I put new sheets on my bed 2 nights ago, that's good enough, right?

Can you spot seven deadly sins on my night table? Guess I better fix that before I let them sleep in my room tonight. heh heh.



Half rabbit said...

Ooh, ooh..... let me play and figure them out:

1: Money, salt.... err. Jesus was poor so he wants you to give the dirty stuff to Caesar

2: Digital clock, it works on the principle of how long the earth takes to rotate instead of Jesus riding his fiery chariot across the sky...... err... am I mixing things? ;)

3: Alcohol bottle caps, though many Christians seem to think alcoholic beverages taste like a certain someones blood

4: Cards, casino quality at that..... now I know certain forms of Christianity love betting....*cough* pascal's wager *cough* but many others think the devil likes the odd game of strip poker

5: Mobile phone, disregarding it emulating the burning bush and talking.... the contents of text messages on it would be sure to make God blush

6: Personal lubrication,.... because a bunch of women hating blokes in the desert didn't need any

7: All those books........ I mean.... don't you know the blessed Word of God is all you need...... I mean....not one Dawkins book.... tut, tut, tut

Now I know it was seven but.....

8: A strange vessel of healing salve....... pfff....... don't you know man can only be healed by the word of god

9: The lamp........ and god said...."let there be light"....... now all God fearing Christians know that you shouldn't attempt to quote unquote "One Up" god........destroy that device now.....

10: Need I mention it's powered by some strange power name ellleecctrrricity..... need I mention that sounds like the devils work it does... yes indeed

Fiery said...

bwahahahahaha well done indeed Rabbit. Oh well played!!!!!


Poodles said...

Oh and see, I would have only found that fire hazard looking outlet.


Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

20 minutes and you took time to post, living dangerously hey?

Xavier Onassis said...

I say you just all that shit right where it is and toss in a couple of empty bottles of Wild Turkey laying on their sides.

Maybe snuffed out cigar or two, just for effect.

Traceytreasure said...

Hide them with the porn under your bed and cross your fingers!! :)

I hope they don't go snooping later on tonight!!

Good luck!!

Thump Thump Eyes said...

Aint it great to have a good excuse to clean the house :)

Hope you have a great time with your parents :)

Fiery said...

Poodles- Hey now!!!!! That outlet is totally necessary!!!!!!! *snerk* Let's see.... cell phone charger, alarm clock (only plugged in for my mum, I don't use one), and the light. I think we're good. Of course on the odd occassion I will also have plugged in a fan and my mp3 charger. :D

Sean- Priorities. HELLO!!!! lol

XO- SHIT!!!!! The empty bourbon bottle is still sitting over by the desktop computer on the other side of the room. Will let you know if it garners a mention!

Tracey- Pr0n? What pr0n? There's no pr0n in my room. *glances around nervously* I hope they don't look through the drawers.

Thump- *sigh* yes. It's good. stressful. But good. The dust dragons were starting to take over the house. But Kirby defeated them.

Traceytreasure said...

You are very generous with your room. You must love them very much!!
I make my dad stay at the Marriott!!
LOL!! I'm totally NOT joking!!
Have a great time!!

Keep us up to date on the happenings!!


Anonymous said...

I'm with tracey, what's wrong with the local hotel?

I hope you found time to clear all those sins away? Especially the worst one of them all ..... the ....

Atheist's Bible. LOL

Protium said...

I'm not even going to ask about the Personal Lubricant or the Hard Creamer!

Fiery said...

OzA- Nearest hotel is 25 miles away and my parents don't have a lot of money for gas. PLUS they help out heaps while they are here. Dad has a huge list of jobs that I could use help with and he loves doing it. Mum has already cleaned out my fridge and will be chomping at the bit for more tasks tomorrow (crap I'd better think of some or she'll want to organize the garage).

The atheist books are put spine facing backwards on a school room shelf and hopefully inconspicuous.

Protium- You should recognize the hand creamer since I bought it in Perth and had it sitting on my bedside table at your place the whole time I was there. Right next to my sunglasses case and my travel alarm clock. Feels great on cracks.

Half rabbit said...

hmmm if they were to see them in the school room..... then make the conclusion that that's a subject for your evil atheist home school....... then :) TAPE IT, TAPE IT ;)

Fiery said...

spines to the rear of the case, just their pristine white pages facing them.

though curiosity may get the better of them as to why the reversed books.

hopefully they'll remain unnoticed.

ssshhhhh be vewy quiet. i'm hunting atheistssssss

Anonymous said...

"25 miles away"! you really do live out in the country. :)

you are lucky to have parents that want to help. I'd be lucky to get my mum to make a cup of tea.

fair enough you want them to stay at your place.

so what's hidden in the garage you don't want your mum to see?

Harry Nads said...

Feels great on cracks.

I thought that is what the personal lubricant was for. LOL!

Attila The Mom said...

Oh hell, I'd make 'em stay at a hotel. LOL

Fiery said...

OzA- The garage has the startup inventory for a used bookstore in about 75 boxes along with 15 years of packrat stuff. Because I hate throwing things away. And I do NOT want to spend the time schelpping around boxes from here to there so we can sweep underneath them and stack them up prettily.

Nads- *snerk*

Attilla- ;) :D

Protium said...

The little black bottle cap next to "The Case Against Cod" says "Hard Creamer" not hand creamer... I've never seen that before :)

Do I smell an online bookstore here Fiery?

Poodles said...

Give it a few years Protium, you will probably learn what "hard creamer" is.