Friday, March 14, 2008

Joe- Guest Blogger

Normally I go to Joe's Big Blog and enjoy funny pictures and road trips. But this time, Joe has genuinely out done himself with this fabulous post he called Magic Words.

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I came up with this a while ago and I guess I haven't yet blogged about it. What are the "magic words."

Well, I think that they're words that we need to hear from certain other people. Words of love, words of commitment, words of affirmation, words of loyalty. Those kinds of words.

We need to hear them from our parents to affirm our bonds with our parents. We hear these words so we can be secure in the belief that we're not disappointments to our parents.

We need to hear them from our spouse or significant other. The words reaffirm the vows we may have made, in marriage or not.

We need to hear them from our children, to affirm the quality of parenting we put forth and to affirm the bond with our children that we affirmed with our parents.

I know people who go their whole lives longing to hear the magic words from their parents and never do. Its devastating to wish with all your heart to hear the words from your mother or father and be constantly denied. Even when your parents die, you still long to hear the magic words and the disappointment you feel clouds all other relationships you may have.

Siblings, marriage, children, all suffer when you don't hear the magic words from your parents.

I too needed to hear the magic words, from my first wife. The crushing blow of her cheating on me was compounded by not hearing the magic words. Even when I tried it with her again I still didn't hear what I needed to hear. It was during that time of life that it hit me. I was never, ever going to her the magic words from Kim and as long as I allowed myself to long for them I was surrendering control over my very sense of self to her. When we parted ways I realized I no longer needed to hear the magic words from Kim and I had regained the power over my sense of self.

I see this in people around me. They long to hear it and never do. It clouds the relationship they have with that person, and damages those around them. It becomes painful to be close to someone with that much longing in their hearts for the magic words.

Look within yourself. Does what I write make any sense to you, or am I full of shit at 4 o'clock in the morning. Is the lack of magic words hurting you in your present relationships? Remember, only you have the power to free yourself from those bonds. If I could do it, you can too. Think about it.

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Exceptionally well done Joe! Very profound and something that each person needs to know not only about themselves but about their significant other- What magic words do YOU need to hear?

5 comments:

Joe said...

Thanks for the plug!

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

Joe, that was very well done, honest. Bravo.

Richard said...

No kidding Joe! Good Job.

Then there are those who use them, but do not ACT on them. Actions speak louder than words. Then there are those who experience the actions, but thing they mean nothing.

Protium said...

Well said Joe.

Richard said...

Uh, that was "think they mean nothing."

Yeah... personal experience.