Wednesday, February 20, 2008

How are you this evening?

Tonight was movie night. Good Luck Chuck starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba. I know Jacob, I know. You hate him. I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't wreck things between us. :) See! I'm smiling sweetly and asking so nicely for you to forgive this one small foible, this one tiny step off the path into dorksville. puhlease? k. thanks :D

Now if you haven't seen GLC let me recommend it for the simple fact that there are a bazoodle of sex shots in a mind boggling variety of positions Brady Bunched across the screen for your viewing pleasure. That alone makes it worth a look-see. The movie itself... decent. Though I would have gone a different direction with the plot.

So... half way through the phone rings.

WTF????

The only people that call my land line are

-my fundy neighbor (he called earlier today asking for soy sauce),
-my Mom or Dad (98% of the time they are calling for tech support),
-Protium & Thump (wrong time of day),
-Johnny (still sleeping),
-Heather (a recording from Accounts Services about the balance on a credit card that I don't have, won't have, never have had. She's persistent though, I'll give her that. I've been hanging up on Heather for going on 2 years now.)

That's it. Nobody else calls. Ever.

*ring*

Fiery: long suffering sigh

*ring*

I take off my headphones (we're watching the movie on my laptop).

*ring*

Fiery: "Who the hell is that?"

*ring*

Fiery: "Alright already!!!! I'm coming as fast as I can! WTF DO YOU WANT?????" (I love shouting at the phone when they can't hear me.)

*ring*

Fiery: "Hellllloooooo????"

Michelle: Hi, this is Michelle Blahblahblah.I am calling from the University of Minnesota statistics and research department of something or other.I'm conducting a survey tonight.How are you this evening?

Fiery: No. *click*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I must have laughed for .... oh a good 45 seconds at least at the thought of answering that question with a no and hanging up.

I am NOT going to spend my movie night on the phone with some chick who wants to ask me questions about what laundry detergent I use, my thoughts on political candidates, my opinion on bicycle helmets, and whether or not catholicism should be outlawed.

(Sunlight, they're all cocksucking crooks, good idea, and not outlawed but universally regarded with contempt.)

Hope you're having a good one!

oh... and the answer to the question
"How are you this evening?"

FIERY!!!!

6 comments:

Poodles said...

I guess for some people it is still "evening" depending on what kind of partier you are.

I am more rested, the pup is finally sleeping most of the night.

Fiery said...

good to hear that the little guy is settling in! :D

Joe said...

Grrrrr, go get 'em Fiery!

King Aardvark said...

Hahahaha! That's an awesome response. I've gotten to the point where I just hang up on people now. One time my dad picked up the phone for a telemarketer, said "hello?", listened for a little while, then just said "I'm sorry, there's nobody here right now." The telemarketer accepted that at face value and said "bye" and that was that.

Part of me knows that I should be so mean to the telemarketer people. Afterall, they are just trying to do a job, and a difficult one at that. On the other hand, they should all go to hell (proverbially, of course).

Have you ever seen Jessica Alba do an interview, like on Letterman or something? She is horrible. Does not have a single interesting thing to say at all, ever. If she wasn't hot, there would be absolutely nothing to her in any way.

And I agree with Jacob re: Dane Cook. Blech.

Stardust said...

About the telemarketer...here's what my son's friend does. He answers the phone and says "could you hold on a minute?" and he goes on with what he is doing with the phone laying off the hook.

Another good one my husband used to do (we only have cell phones now, so don't get telemarketer calls anymore), he switched it around. They would ask "how are you?" and then he would go into a lament about his personal problems...making it all up, of course. He told them how crappy his job is, how his big toe hurt and he had hemorrhoids and crazy jock itch...etc. It makes them hang up on you! LOL!

Fiery said...

*snerk* love the idea of going into medical problems. "Won't you be my friend!?"