Monday, January 12, 2009

Three Types of Christians

There are three types of christians.

1- Sunday Believers- those who believe because they grew up that way. It's all they have ever known and they don't want to hear any views to the contrary. (My parents). Challenging their beliefs makes them sad, like you've kicked a puppy.

These are the ones who go to church on Sunday, have bibles and devotional books laying around the house, but rarely look at them. They are well meaning people, the backbone of the church. The salt of the earth folk. These are the sweet ones like Joyce and Wineymamma et all who show up on atheist blogs wanting to have nice conversations, but who can't tolerate us playing smear the queer with Glob and Macaroni. They want to agree to disagree.

2- Fundy Believers- those who believe because they've had some kind of conversion experience and feel blessed by the Holy Spirit. There is NO talking or rationalizing with these people. Head in ground, fingers in ears, LA LA LA I can't hear you!!!! JESUS LOVES ME!!!!

These are the ones who search out atheist blogs to leave their little shit stains on it. Who will start arguments, debates, discussions, but the minute their views are disproven (for the 10,000th time) they leave. Often saying "I'm going and not coming back", although FEEDJIT says that they do.

3- Power Hungry Believers- those in power in the churches/cults. They don't believe their bullshit, they're just in it for the power and control over their flock. They talk the talk, walk the walk (in public) and deny themselves very few if any of the worldly pleasures their position has to offer. (The Pope's golden chalices, incredible works of art, making decisions that effect people around the world. Oh yeah, he's a humble follower of christ.)

These are the really evil cunts. They know there isn't a god and they don't care. They revel in the power over people's lives and the untold wealth of the churches they command. Where's the proof? Do you honestly think anybody that believes Jesus is the way truth and the light can touch a 6 year old's private parts in an aggressively sexual manner? No. Sick repressed bastards.


Xavier Onassis said...

I agree with those categories, but I would add one more.

The True Believers.

They are a step beyond the Sunday Believers.

The True Believers are the ones who have real Faith. The ones who need and cherish that weekly recharging of their spiritual batteries. These people derive true joy from their faith and tend to be the most tolerant of believers. They are the most "Christ-like". By that I mean they don't judge, they don't condemn, they don't preach. They just live their lives the way their faith guides them and they try to do good in the world and seek justice.

I don't have any problem at all with those types of Christians. They just want to make the world a better place, lead by example and they don't shove their faith down other people's throats or try to force other people to believe what they believe.

They are just quiet, joyful people.

If everyone of faith, from any religion, lived their lives like the True Believers, the world would be a better and more peaceful place.

Not as peaceful as it would be if we discarded fantasy all together and embraced rationality.

But if we could replace tranquil true believers with fanatics and zealots...I'd settle for that.

The Middle East is the birthplace of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. They all derive from the same person...Abram/Abraham.

If all of the followers of those common Abramic religions comported themselves as True Believers, wouldn't the Middle East be the most peaceful and tranquil place on the planet? Graced by the peace and faith of the worlds three greatest monotheistic religions?

Anonymous said...

Very good Fiery, especially like number 3, how very true.

XO - nice addition.

I also have one more for you:

5. The Christmas Christian - those people that call themselves christians but are lucky to go to church once a year. You'd be lucky to find even one bible in their house, and that's all covered in dust.

Most of the rest of the time you'd never know they were a 'christian'. You'll propably never find one of these online 'cause they just don't care enough either way.

These people really shit me. They are the idiots that are making the number of christians in our countries seem actually larger than it really is.

Reg Golb said...

lets hear your atheist categories.

i will reserve mine for later.

Traceytreasure said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reg Golb said...

Like I said, you have "followers". Your ideas didn't bring her over, it was you. HMMMM, cult of personality?

That would make Fiery Atheist Type 1, the cult leader.
And Tracytreasure Type 2. one of those who have had a kind of conversion by the holy EWOK.

Traceytreasure said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reg Golb said...

Type 3. The angry atheist

Traceytreasure said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reg Golb said...

Fiery was the one who started judging, see original post. I was just going to have a little fun, I see you to have judged me to be a judgemental Christian.
I would judge myself as a true believer, thanks XO. I disagree with the don't judge, it is impossible for anyone to "not" judge. XO created his own type of Christian and illustrated the futility in being nonjudgemental.

Thump Thump Eyes said...

XO said:
True believers...These people derive true joy from their faith and tend to be the most tolerant of believers. They are the most "Christ-like". By that I mean they don't judge, they don't condemn, they don't preach.

Good description XO, these xtians I can tolerate because they do good things without expecting anything at all in return, and as you said they don't preach and are tolerant, to the point where you wouldn't even know they were god botherers!

I wouldnt give two bob for all the other categories described (thats 20cents for those who've never heard that saying before:) as they are so one-eyed and totally unaccepting that there could even be any world view other than theirs...there is literally no chance of having even a normal conversation with them once you tell them you are an atheist... although one sickly sweet xtian woman gushingly told me, and I quote "Gee, for atheists you people are really really nice!"

I see reg is still trying to have a little fun :) but didn't pull it off as usual! I can hear your mum calling you reg, better run home now :)

Reg Golb said...

Define preach - I don't preach, I do converse. Is it preaching when you don't want to hear it? If that is the definition, then I preach.

Define tolerant - I tolerate you. If I came to your house and dispatched you, then I wouldn't tolerate you or I wouldn't have to.

Define condemn - Can anyone except a judge condemn? I don't condemn anyone, never have.

What is Christ like. What did Christ do? If you can't tolerate Christ himself, then how can you tolerate someone who is "Christ-like"?

Thump, Thump, is there anyone capable of thought in there TTE?

Thump Thump Eyes said...

Reg said:
Thump, Thump, is there anyone capable of thought in there TTE?

Aw Reg, you're so tough!

Reg Golb said...

Your reply, reply, reply
was hollow, hollow, hollow.

Thump Thump Eyes said...

Hollow. Hollow. (waves:)
You. You. Are. Are. A. A. Strange. Strange. And. And. Funny. Funny. Bloke. Bloke. Reg. Reg.

Donna Knox said...

Hi, This is my first time on this blog, and I came here to learn something b/c I'm one of those people who wont go to church b/c all of them are flawed, but I seek .... something... aethism is one of those categories that I'm considering, but you know, I have a problem with a blog that deletes comments, was it something that could have swayed me?? I seek something that gives me all the answers right in front of me. I find it hard to believe it was deleted for bad language or for being judgmental, since you used the word "cunt" in ur original blog. You might actually fool someone who doesn't care and jsut hates christianity b/c they are scarred by it or for whatever reason... But what about someone like me who really wants to know. You have ruined me for this blog sir. Thank you. I will seek the answers somewhere else. This blog is to preach you beliefs and nothin else.

Fiery said...

Donna Knox- welcome to my blog, and adios, apparently.

Tracey removed her own comments. Note how it says "comment removed by AUTHOR". Not by "blog owner".

"This blog is to preach you [sic] beliefs and nothin [sic] else."

*snerk* You didn't read enough about my blog to realize I'm female, let alone to realize why I have this blog.