we are who we edit ourselves to be

In any form of communication with another person, whether that is in person over a cup of coffee, on the telephone, or through text, it is always possible that a person is misrepresenting themselves in whole or in part.

Meeting someone in person does not guarantee a higher degree of accurate information about that individual over what they might say or type about themselves, especially depending on the specific circumstances surrounding the communication itself.

In person, one does not have the opportunity to take back what was blurted. Things can just "get said" without the full ramifications being thoroughly thought through. Sometimes in the heat of the moment or following the general flow of the conversation, it is easy to flippantly toss off a remark, that upon further reflection is a flat out falsehood when it comes to how you really think. That doesn't mean the person was being deliberately misleading, just that they got carried away.

How many times as a child did you see your parents turn from shouting at each other or shouting at you to answer the phone with a cheery, "Hello!" and you're standing there wondering where the hell that came from? She wasn't all sunshine and smiles 3 seconds ago, why does that person rate a smile when she was just yelling her head off a bit ago? As an adult we realize that the person calling doesn't need to know of our bad day, and certainly doesn't deserve to get caught in the emotional fallout of normal everyday crankiness. Is the person lying when they answer the phone in that manner? Not exactly. More just responding to a new context in which shouting would be highly inappropriate.

If the context is an internet dating chat room, chances are not that good that people are interacting on a highly accurate basis. They are there looking for people to like them and presenting themselves in the most positive light possible, including flat out lying. "The internet: where the men are men, the women are women, and the little girls are FBI agents"~CrazyMan Bob.

However, on this blog, and the ones I visit, there is just no reason for the commenters to misrepresent their thoughts, feelings, insights, circumstances, or individual take on a situation. What would be the point? It is very much a voluntary community, one that is easy to withdraw from and if you don't feel you can be honest with those around you, what are you doing on that blog in the first place?

That is not to say that a particular post contains absolutely every possible piece of information that could be construed as being relevant to the situation. It just is not possible or desirable to include that level of detail in a post. So the writer essentializes and strips from the actual to present a snapshot of the situation with the details they feel are relevant to the discussion at hand.

For serious discussions and meaningful conversations, I would rather type than talk. Often during a verbal conversation, I get caught up listening to what the other person is saying without thinking about my own reactions to what they are talking about. Or worse, instead of listening to them I am busy trying to come up with something to say when it is my turn. Neither of which leads to much more than superficial conversations.

I enjoy writing and seeing my thoughts appear before me. Sometimes I look back on what I've written and nod in agreement, or shake my head in amusement at the things I've typed. I read and reread editing for style, content, accuracy and clarity. Do I really mean that? Does it convey my thoughts accurately or is it possible to misinterpret it to mean something different? Does the person reading have enough information to understand what I am saying?

But the most important thing, for me, about writing, is the necessary mental clarity that comes with actually formulating thoughts coherently enough to get them written down in semi-formal English capable of being understood by others. I learn more about myself by writing then I do in any other situation in my life.

Internet communication may not replace face-to-face interaction. But if the alternative to face-to-face interaction is nothing, then I will take text any day and revel in the ability to take my thoughts and refine them to be as clear and accurate as possible.