Thursday, May 1, 2008

our new fundy

Hey everybody! Guess what?


Did you just think "what?" to yourself! COOL!!! Thanks for playing!!!

Anyway, I have exciting news!! We have been visited by Butt Nugget's replacement: Xzithlan! That didn't take too long, did it? I know... I was surprised as well. I wonder what kind of fundy this one will be? He might be a one shot wonder, popping up in a post from last December and then never returning. He might be the kind who posses as the gentle christian just wanting to learn about atheists. Or he might be the skidmark kind (I know you hate that particular image Richard. *hugs* I'm sorry.) who pops up, stirs up a lively discussion and disappears when he gets it from both barrels from each of my wonderful fellow bloggers. Will Xzithlan be able to handle the heat? He has sown the wind, will he be able to reap the whirlwind?

I didn't include Xzithlan's profile because he hasn't created one yet.

Now everybody, claws in until we get the fundy's measure. He popped up over on prayer = laziness and had this to say about prayer...

Prayer is not the call to laziness. When you say you will pray for someone, you are creating a conscious directive to help someone. Through prayer, one focuses on:
1. what the need really is
2. ways of helping, come to mind during or after prayer.

Blindly rushing in to help is never a good idea. If someone is drowning you throw them a lifesaver.

When someone says they will pray for you, they are thinking about you. During prayer (which is really a quiet thinking process with a single purpose), the person will receive an idea and because they are christian are called to put it into action.

I will pray that you come to learn how prayer can help you.

So what "xzithlan" is saying is that prayer is meditation with compulsion to act on the message received.

What if the message received is "God hates faggots"? Oh wait... there's a christian working on that one already.

What if the message received is "Four encounters with an infidel sully's the honor of your family, remove this stain from your life." Nope, another believer took care of that. Oh, but I got the christian part wrong, they're Muslim so that doesn't count.

You know it's weird. In Xzithlan's form of prayer, god doesn't have to do anything. He's not called upon to heal or bless or do... well... anything. It's up to the christian to do something. Hmmmmm...


Oh!! And Johnny! Guess what? That post, prayer = laziness, is the one where Butt Nugget put up that ridiculous scenario with the college professor and the student who "talked him down". Weren't we looking for that awhile back?


Rev. Reed Braden said...

Did you just think "what?" to yourself! COOL!!! Thanks for playing!!!

I actually said it aloud...

Thump Thump Eyes said...

oh dear, one disappears and woops another one shows up....odd isnt it...maybe its the globlet in disguise.

Cant understand why anyone would come to an atheist's blog and dribble that drivel knowing that the people here obviously arent into it, perhaps he thinks he might be able to persuade you Fiery and the rest of us into it if he preys hard enough...dreamin!!

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...


funny what he calls prayer I call careful consideration - willfully changing the common definition of prayer, yeah and god is love, chocolate a beautiful sunset blah blah blah.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

rev, you are looking a bit like Rollins in your photo.

Poodles said...

I wish you had sitemeter installed so that you could see if it was Reg in disguise...

That being said. The problem with "prayer" is that some crazies (or maybe not so much) actually think they are being "answered".

"Dear god, should I "marry" this 15year old girl so I can fuck her now because my 25 year old "wife" is getting boring in bed?" "yes" "good."

Half rabbit said...

When you say you will pray for someone, you are creating a conscious directive to help someone. Through prayer, one focuses on:
1. what the need really is
2. ways of helping, come to mind during or after prayer.

Blindly rushing in to help is never a good idea. If someone is drowning you throw them a lifesaver.

Maybe it's just me. Or is Xzithlan saying you should pray while someone is drowning? :)

Simon said...

I'm praying for you all.

Pink said...

Father O'Malley, Rev. Smith, and Jesse Jackson are sitting around talking about the Sunday collection.

Father O'Malley says "I have a way of dividing up the money. I draw a line on the ground and throw all the money in the air. Whatever lands on the left side is God's, and whatever lands on the right is mine."

Rev. Smith says "I have a similar way, only I draw a circle. Whatever lands in the circle is God's and whatever lands outside is mine."

Jesse Jackson says "My way is even better. I throw all the money in the air. Whatever God catches is his."

I could not help myself. Fuckin' funny.

Fiery said...

Reed- BWAHAHAHAA!!! Awesome! :)

Thump- That is precisely why I do not go to fundy blogs. I don't have anything to say to them, no desire to read what they have to write, and am not deluded into thinking I can change their mind.

Sean- may your beautiful sunset be calorie free and melt in your mouth not in your hand. :)

Poodles- Brotium looked into it for me, the fundy is from Canada.

HalfRabbit- An alternative interpretation is that the fundy doesn't pray for the drowning victim, just tosses him the lifepreserver. Do you suppose there is any further obligation after the chucking or is that sufficient? :P

Simon- lol. Welcome to my blog! Do you take prayer requests or is this a nonspecific generalized sort of prayer. Oh... and who are you praying to. ;) I'd prefer Aphrodite or Venus.

Pink- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!! Yep, that's what every single church/televangelist does. Everything else goes to keeping up appearances.

T&A said...

They just can't help their stupid selves can they? Fundies really are masochist!

Protium said...

"When you say you will pray for someone, you are creating a conscious directive to help someone"

Instead of trying to direct an action from an imaginery skyweiner via telepathy, why don't you just fucking DO something that will help.

Another Butt Nugget me thinks.

Fiery said...

imaginary skyweiner


Richard said...

"Skywiener" LMAO!!

There is a couple here in S. Ontario with a little kid (four yrs I think). He has a fairly serious form of Leukemia that is ultimately treatable through a lot of unpleasant chemotherapy.

After the first treatment he was terribly upset, afraid of the hospital and of the things being done to him.

His fundy parents decided they would not continue with the course in chemotherapy.

They decided to pray for him.

Children's Aid took the kid from them, and are seeing to it that he gets the treatments.

I wonder if he will be a fundy when he is alive at twenty years of age?

Of course, the religionists are all upset, and the Human Rights groups see it as a violation of the parents' rights.

WTF happened to the kid's Right to Life?? That Right is, above all, the responsibility of the parents who brought him this far into the world. So they think the SkyWeiner are a suitable substitute for secular medicine??

Furthermore, the parents lose no bucks in treating him, because this is a nation where such expensive health care is paid for by taxes.

Mommy and Daddy are serious shitheadz.

Richard said...

Thanks for the nod to decency, Fiery, but DAMMIT, YOU SAID IT ANYWAY!

Skidmarks are seriously nasty. In a more grown up person, it has all the distastefulness of being at a classy party to which you had to bring your 1 yr old.

One year olds are eating a fair amount of ordinary food, and the end result is as bad as you can imagine...

At the partée, your kid toddles about the perfectly appointed mahogany dinner table with the fine china and crystal, the perfectly ironed and folded white linen, the classily dressed and happy guests, and the stylishly presented platters of food that you and the other guests are about to eat.

Suddenly you smell, well, shit emanating from the other side of the table. You immediately realize everyone else is inhaling shit-smell too, at the same time as the smells of that perfect entrée on the table is supposed to introduce an elegant evening meal.

You run over and do the 'peek' down the back of his diaper, and there it is: serious shit! Not just a skidmark, this has smushed wet lumps. You tell the others to "go ahead and eat", and whisk your boy out of the room.

Now his little overalls are leaking brown. This is no skidmark, it is a skid deposit!! with a wretched and repulsive stench.

You wind up in some side room, with your kid naked-assed as you wipe up shit and re-diaper him. The redolent, mephitic, stench not only seems to cling to everything, it does cling to everything.

You return to the table, conscious that shit smell is wafting into the dining room stuck to your clothes.

Your platter is cold, the others have eaten, you still have shit smell in your nose, and you hope you got your hands clean enough. You eat the food, and all you taste and smell is shit, and then you tell the host how good it was. You carefully neglect to mention that you barely tasted it because your senses were completely overwhelmed by 'fecal input'.

Though horrid, all that is understandable with kids. But after a person is four yrs old or so, it is exponentially worse. It is big person shit --in their undies! Blech!

Have you ever ridden in a barn's manure monorail-bucket? Cow poop is nothing when compared to the human skidmark. It is the ultimate sign of a despicable lack of self-grooming. The man becomes an ape with panties, that cares not how filthy they may become.

Oh dear, I think I have an extraneous hair growing near my eyebrow. I have to find my tweezers.