vu jà dé

I'm guessing that most people have had at least one déjà vu experience. What I don't know is if anyone ever has ever noticed the initial vu part of the experience. There have been several times in my life when I've had peculiar thoughts that seem to come fully formed, glimpses of me in situations I don't recognize with people I don't know and I find myself wondering if this is the inital experience. These images are much more real than the "realistic while you are in it" dream.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going all mystic and supernatural on you. I don't know what other terms to describe these really odd feelings with. I haven't had one really since highschool, but I always knew that if I were in a situation to feel that way again, I would make special note of it.

Now we come to the reason I'm writing about such an odd topic in the first place. I don't want this to be an initial vu experience.

My parents were here for 2 days (not counting their arrival day and departure days). It was a joyous time filled with much accomplished and lots of fun visiting.

At one point Dad was talking about the wooden platform by my porch that you step onto first before the grass. He was mentioning how the fix was temporary and that in 5 years or so, the whole thing would need to be replaced. And for a split second, everything froze and part of my mind took a real careful look at my Dad, how he is getting older, how much he is struggling with his panic attacks and what not, and that part of my mind which held reality frozen whispered, "He's not going to be here to fix them in 5 years." I imagined myself talking with someone about replacing the wooden planks and mentioning how Dad had said they'd last about 5 years.

And a part of me wept. I don't want to lose my Dad.

Reason dictates that there is no evidence to support genuine de ja vu experiences let alone this vu jà dé experience.

What it is, however is a reminder that life is precious. A reminder to spend time now with the ones you love and not wait for a more opportune moment. A reminder that loved ones would rather have a phone call or visit today then for you to come half-way around the world for their funeral.