Awhile back I wrote a blog entry called "Jeanne Marie Laskas is a fundy bitch" about being able to make things right even after a long period of time.
Johnny asked, "Was it hard to ring your schoolmate after all that time to apologise? I think I would think about it a lot but never get the actual gumption to do it."
Yes, it was hard. Really hard. There were several times over the years when I would google her name and get a few different results with email addresses but nothing that I could for sure guarantee was her. A couple of times I even sent off a tentative "Hi, did we go to highschool together?" email but I never got a reply and I'm positive the person receiving them thought they were a bizaare spam of some kind.
Over the years, instead of getting better, the guilt and need to apologize really started to bother me more and more. It was actually our 10 year highschool reunion that finally got me to get off the pot and give her a call. I found out that she wasn't going to be attending and I had been counting on seeing her there to apologize in person.
There are so many things that I want to say, I hardly know where to start. I just got off the phone with [a dear friend], and she says you aren't going to be able to make it to our class reunion. You wouldn't believe how disappointed I was that you won't be there. I contacted Harry Wahlbanger,[school guidance counselor, french teacher and general cockhead] many months ago to get your e-mail address so I could write you a letter. Then I chickened out and thought I would wait until the class reunion and talk with you there.
I owe you a huge apology for my behavior our senior year. I would give anything to go back and show you the support you deserve and that our friendship warranted.
Maybe it is because this is our 10 year class reunion that I am looking back on some things with regret. And the way you got hosed our senior year is one of them....
...The rest of the email continued with personal details about what I'd been doing with my life since highschool.
Jeez. I just went back and read her reply and I'm teared up all over again. She hadn't ever understood what happened during the last year and a half of school or why everyone turned on her and my reaching out to her meant a great deal to her. Over the course of a few more emails we were able to bring each of us some closure to an issue that while it didn't impact our present day-to-day lives, definitely tainted our memories.
So yes, Johnny, it was hard, and very much worth the effort.
It's never to late to go back and say you're sorry.