Saturday, September 22, 2007

TECHNOFEAR!!!!!!!

There was a BBC show from the early 80’s called The Young Ones that lasted only a few episodes, 12 I think. One of the characters, Neil, is a hippy who has absolutely hideous luck with all forms of technology including answering machines, and he calls it technofear. Normally computers are my friend, I understand how they work and can usually figure out why they are behaving oddly. So on your average day, I have no problem with them, but the last week or so has been one technological disaster after another.

Friday marked the second time in the last five days that my beloved laptop has eaten a post I was typing for my blog. The first post….*groan*…I was typing in Notepad. I’d worked on it for over an hour and hadn’t saved it. I know, I KNOW!!!!! Bad decision. But it’s too late for recriminations now. My computer froze up, completely and utterly; I couldn’t even get the mouse to wiggle. In stunned disbelief, I tried Ctrl-Alt-Del, I even tried putting a disc in the drive to kick it over- nothing.

I sat there staring at the screen and caught myself thinking… “Oh god, please let me get my post back. Don’t let it be lost forever.” HAHAHAHA!!!

Let’s see, I currently have no belief there is, ever was or will be a supernatural being. But part of my mind (lingering childhood indoctrination) sent up a plea to said non-existent being to fix my computer and rescue my post, which ironically had to do with the lingering effects of being raised christian. I wonder if Jeebus cursed my computer so I wouldn’t contaminate the blogosphere with my blasphemous ideas? *snerk*

Determined to save what little I could of my post I copied it down by hand. Less than half was visible on the screen, and that- the first half, not the conclusion. Unfortunately for me, I only get one good chance to write something. Once it’s written, that’s it. The inspiration for those thoughts drifts away, never again to be captured in their original brilliance....er...form.

I then had to do a complete shut down, holding the power button off until my laptop obliterated everything I had been working on.

TECHNOFEAR!

The second time was Friday. I was typing in the Blogger: New Post window but was typing off-line to save on dial-up minutes. Piecing the situation back together, I must have brushed the mouse pad with my palm, shifting the mouse off the typing area and then hit the backspace key. Apparently when backspace is struck in a non-typing area of the window, it tells Internet Explorer to move to the previous page, in this case Blogger Dashboard.

Not again. Not bloody again! I just went through this whole “computer ate my post” scenario, didn’t I learn anything? Apparently not. I tried going forward and it reluctantly returned me to the New Post window, sans post. ARGH!

From now on I’m composing in Microsoft Word, at least it has an auto save feature that doesn’t count on my being online. *rolls eyes*

TECHNOFEAR!!

As for other recent disasters, let's see...

On Monday, I ran a red light for no reason other than I didn't notice the stupid thing. A car was coming and could have sideswiped me. That's only happened to me one other time in my life. Ironically it was a block south on the same street earlier this summer. Remind me not to drive on that road ever again. Though I’m not sure how I’ll manage it since that is the street the library is on.

I was working on recording and uploading mp3 files, got them uploaded and sent only to discover that the microphone had been clicked off. *groan* Did you know that dead silence takes just as long to upload as a recording with words?

TECHNOFEAR!!!

Now I’ve got the microphone turned on, and there is a horrific hum and hiss behind everything. Does anyone know anything about audio devices and computers? How much does a person have to spend to get a mic good enough for talking/podcast type recordings???? HELP!!!!!

TECHNOFEAR!!!!

My cell phone has taken to batching text messages so I get the, "is now a good time?" text at the same time it sent the "sorry I missed you” text.

TECHNOFEAR!!!!!

What am I doing? WHAT AM I DOING???? I am typing this OFFLINE in the Blogger: New Post window. Again! Copy and paste to Microsoft Word already. ARGH!!!!!!

TECHNOFEAR!!!!!!

I think I might need more protein in my diet. Atkins would be the man to see about that. Good grief Charlie Brown, this is getting ridiculous.

7 comments:

Poodles said...

I hate typing on my laptop, I usually mess something up.

Protium said...

You need to take your computer outside and thrash it with a stick a la Basil Fawlty.

That fixes everything :)

Johnny said...

Hahahaha Fiery......
um i...i think he's a hippy
Beep beep beep, oh no heavy, the coins keep coming out, beep beep beep, even the telephone hates me, beep beep beep, I wish there were no machines, and everyone led a pastoral existence, trees and flowers don't deliberately cool you out and go beep in your ear.
Technofear!

It's as if the kettle's killed itself rather than be used by me!

Protium that is a hilarious vision Fiery as Basil just losing it

Come on, work, will you!? Work, you vicious bastard!! Come on! Oh my God! I'm warning you — if you don't work… (screams with rage) I'll count to three. (she presses the enter button, without success) One…two…three…!!Right! That's it! (she jumps out of the chair and addresses the laptop) You've tried it on just once too often! Right! Well, don't say I haven't warned you! I've laid it on the line to you time and time again! Right! Well…this is it! I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing! (she rushes off and comes back with a large branch; she beats the laptop without mercy).

Fiery tell me who this Jeebus bastard is who has cursed your laptop and I'll get the prick for you hahahahahahahahaha....Lots of bad luck the good will come in time mate. I'd like to meet the lucky bugger getting the voice recordings though.

Fiery said...

helpless laughter.

Awww Johnny, aw god, laughing til the tears roll down my face. What a great way to start the day.

As for the basil scenario..... ohhhhhh how I've been tempted.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

I like laptops for the mobility, but have the same problem brushing the touch pad.

I usually verbally insult my computer, has much the same effect as prayer ie none.

Fiery said...

I am most fortunate in that I have this great little button on my touchpad that turns it right off.

Unfortuantely if I'm typing something long I like having the mouse available for cutting and pasting.

Must remember to make the blue light orange more often.

Strangely enough god still hasn't restored my post I had started.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

Obviously you must be praying to the wrong one ;)