Mama Ewok recently had surgery on her knee and ended up with a total knee replacement. It's been about 5 weeks now and she isn't moving at all the way she wishes she was. She has always been active and very busy, so this forced inactivity is very hard for her.
Background- when I was growing up, we went through the motions of being christians (Lutherans). We went to church every sunday, attended sunday school, bible school for a week during the summer, observed all the holidays, first communion, confirmation, prayed before supper during the school year and lunch and supper during the summer. When I was little she would come down to my bedroom, sit on my bed and pray the "Now I lay me down to sleep prayer" and then we would visit.
That was pretty much it. We didn't spend really any time talking about god and we didn't pepper our conversation with "What would jesus do" questions or "The lord is leading me to..." or "The lord is testing me".
But in the last few years, her conversations have begun to include those types of phrases. *sigh*
She also has taken to saying "Well that's why God invented XYZ". Now that one really drives me batshit. God didn't invent anything. ARGH! Sorry.
What really drives me wonky is when she gives the lord credit for decisions I encouraged her to make, or things I have done to help her. One time I even said, "Don't thank god, Mom, that one was me. He didn't have a thing to do with it!"
Mama Ewok just found out she has a blood clot in her leg. She has to go back to almost no activity, blood thinners, etc... until the clot dissolves. This is not good. She has been going a little bonkers with all the forced in-activity. And it looks like the recovery time is now at about 3 months.
Tonight she sent me this e-mail [snip]... well i guess the good lord said hey Mama Ewok you have to slow down ...
I have just been ignoring these types of comments, but it is getting harder.
*sigh*
I wonder if she would work harder at making the life she has now on earth happier if she wasn't counting on their being a heaven to reward her for all of her sacrifices.
10 comments:
Sounds like you know my MIL... UGH.
My grandmother who lives with me has a friend whose sister has been sick and dying for YEARS. Whe my grandmother talks about her she always says, "I don't know why god won't just take her". I keep my mouth shut but I always want to just say "because he must hate her."
MeThinks,
Momma Ewok has some reason to believe, thinks or knows you're an atheist.
These types of comments (if totally out of character) are meant to "call you out" so to speak.
It is possible I suppose. I never go to church and I never made a big deal about getting the kids baptized. (They aren't) When I go see my folks, the only time I go to church is if Mamma Ewok and I are playing violin & flute for a service. I also never let the kids go to church, even if she and I are going. Which confuses them, luckily, thus far, they haven't said anything.
I'm kind of wondering, if it's also because of my sister- Urgh. When she got married, she had to convert to catholicism (hubby was, you know the schtick) and Urgh makes a big deal about everything church.
Lots of talk about pre-marriage counceling with the priest, very vocal about all church activities, and definitely uses the phrases I've heard Mama Ewok start to say. Urgh even invited my parents to her babies baptism, a 14 hour drive away.
I've also seen some of the e-mails Urgh sends Mama Ewok and they are often filled with inspirational stories chicken-soup-style and filled with personal comments about "I'll be praying for you" or "the lord never gives you more than you can handle" type stuff.
Which really torks me off. *sarcastically* "I'll pray for you". What a cop out. And the time the lord gives you more than you can handle is the time he's calling you home.
*delete delete delete* must not snark so early in the morning.
I wish there was a way to help my Mom to reason. In her case, I actually think she might be happier not being christian.
***sarcasm alert***
Tell her to not rely on doctors, because that involves science. She could just pray that her knee is miraculously cured.
So when she eventually is about to expire (I had a hard time finding the proper wording without offending)- I guess that will be God's way of saying she REALLY, REALLY needed to slow down, huh?
Seriously, though- I hope she does get well soon.
I hear ya BigTex. And hey- if your're going to dish it, might as well use the word croak.
I dish it, I can take it.
I do however, appreciate the notice that it is sarcasm. :-D
Mom hasn't descended into full blown fundyism. (I refuse to add the word "yet"). She is a nurse and knows the good that science does. I think she is more fundy-lite. Personal relationship with christ. I know she's never been born again. As Lutherans, my parents don't believe in that bollucks. Baptism, communion, and confirmation are the keys to heaven.
It is hard to take her seriously when she says those comments. It is hard not to grab her bible and say- "Mama Ewok, let's just take a look at this, shall we?"
Wow, FE, your mamma sounds a lot like the way my wife has gotten recently. In fact, everything you and the other commenters here have said are exactly my experiences with my wife in recent months.
I sense your exasperation and I feel for you. If I were Christian, I'd definitely be praying for you, but I'm not so I won't. I guess that means you're on your own ;-)
Actually King A. just knowing that someone out there is thinking warm fuzzies or friendly thoughts at me means a lot. :-)
I actually feel vaguely offended when someone says they will pray for me. It's such a passive cop-out. Like I should be grateful that they are sitting around talking to someone in the sky.
Hello? I'm right here. Talk to me, offer to pitch in, tell me you care. That means something.
Oh- and King A. about your wife.
*sigh* that's got to be aggravating. On that little annoying level that keeps eating at you until you want to scream in frustration.
I find myself very fortunate that my mate and I are on the same page as far as god goes.
That's good. If you're like me, you talk to your mom maybe once a week, but you talk to your S.O. every day. It does get a little frustrating. When she's not talking God she's fine, it's just that she's talking God more frequently these days.
King A-You must love and care for her a great deal to be in the relationship to begin with. It must be very hard to see her on the other side of the reason-faith barrier and not be able to bring her to the light.
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