Tuesday, April 24, 2007

favorite drink, worst experience with it

My all-time favorite drink is a Long Island Tea. Applebee's makes great LITs!!!! and they are HUGE. Hey, size matters when it comes to LIT!

My worst experience with it came from my hometown (population 900 and falling) restaurant. The LIT came with one of those dippy bar straws that are so thin you get half a mouthful after a minute of trying. They must be just for looks because you can't even stir your drink if it has ice, just bends.

Got my nose close to the drink and all I could think of was rubbing alcohol. That smell from when I would use cotton balls to wipe around Punkin #1's bellybutton stump when she was a newborn.

NOT the mental image you want when you are out with friends trying to get silly.

So, mentally holding my nose, I take a sip and *gag* WHAT did they put in that drink????? It was the most gawdawful stuff I had EVER tasted.

Small town *gasp* can't return it *gag* owner will screw up my *gasp* pizza orders for life. BLECH!

Get LIT just not at the Silver Slipper! HA!


BigTex71 said...

Have you tried an Amaretto Sour? That one is hard to screw up.

I am not much of a beer drinker. Actually, I'm not much of a drinker period. But when I do imbibe, I prefer what my wife calls "girlie drinks." I am confident enough in my manhood to shrug it off and drink them anyway. Some of my favorites include: Buttery Nipple (the drink and the real thing), White Russian, Mudslide, Amaretto Sour, Fuzzy Navel, Chocolate Martini, etc.

look_an_atheist said...


Thanks BigTex! I'll make a list of those and give 'em a try.

I totally lack an imagination when it comes to mixed drinks. (Can't STAND beer- looks like a urine sample.)

The one time I got creative I asked for "sex on the beach" and it tasted like canned pineapple w/ coconut juice. Blech.

I can just imagine trying to order a Buttery Nipple, not only will I (as a red head) be blushing like a fool, I'm going to be wondering if the blogger BigTex likes them on others or himself.

Have you ever had a bartender royally screw up a drink order?

BigTex71 said...

Have you ever had a bartender royally screw up a drink order?

Not ROYALLY, but one bar I was in was VERY loud and the bartender misheard what I said. I ordered a Rum and Coke. What I got was Malibu Rum and Coke. It turns out that it wasn't bad.

there are some REALLY creative names for drinks. One of my favorites that makes me laugh is a "Ewok Teabagging A Mexican Trying To Cross The Border At Midnight". And there are some really offensive/gross one, but I'll keep it tame for your blog. :)

look_an_atheist said...

ROFLMAO.... OMG I didn't get past teabagging without belly-laughing, made it to Midnight and I've got tears in my eyes.

Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!!!

"Hi, my name is John I'll be your waiter tonight. Can I start you off with a drink?"

me- "Hi John would you please bring me an Ewok Teabagging A Mexican Trying To Cross The Border At Midnight, please."


Who loves BigTex's sense of humor?
*hand waving wildy*
Oh ME ME!! I do I do!!!!

BigTex71 said...

Uh oh... you are opening a big can of worms by laughing and encouraging me. Didn't you learn to not do that? :D

Ok, here are a few more drinks you might like the names of (and yes, they are real drinks) :

Ass On A Tectonic Plate

Bear Fart

Bulge In My Pants

Ewok Having A Wet Dream While Passed Out In A Laundromat On Olympic Blvd.

Get Naked And Slap Yo Momma!

Kentucky Bastard Love Child

Love You Now Screw You Later

Mama's Got Her Boobs Out

Minty Asshole

Monkey Spunk

Oh My Fucking God (Dani would love that one) :D

Testicular Nunslaughter

The Shaved Beaver

look_an_atheist said...



Now I TOTALLY want to go out for a drink or 6.

Poor John (the waiter) he's never going to forget my table. ROFLMAO!!!!!

Oh why do you have to be in Texas? Bring your wife, meet me at Applebee's. Let's give the staff a night to remember.

I'm copying and pasting those into notepad and from there printing them up and putting them in my day planner.

WAHOOOO!!!!!! Now I've got some cool drink ideas to order.
Top faves so far....

Get Naked And Slap Yo Momma!

Ewok Teabagging A Mexican Trying To Cross The Border At Midnight

Mama's Got Her Boobs Out

Oh My Fucking God

My cat thinks I'm insane sitting in front of my lap top laughing my fool head off.

BigTex71 said...

Oh why do you have to be in Texas? Bring your wife, meet me at Applebee's. Let's give the staff a night to remember.

Well, unfortunately, I may not be in Texas for too long. I recently found out that the Texas Instruments wafer fabrication plant that I work at will be closing at the end of the year. My final day will be December 5th. At least I have that in between time to start lining up another job ( a lot better than showing up to work and being told to go home because the plant is closed.)

So... do you know anyone in the semiconductor industry that I could network with? :D

Or maybe I could start my own church... there is a lot of tax-free money involved! :D

look_an_atheist said...

Lots and lots of money changing hands. Every Sunday.

Hey if L.Ron Hubbard can invent a church, so can you!

Bigtex if I knew anyone in supeconductor business...well that would be really cool!

That kind of puts the ole kabosh (I can't spell Jewish words) on any long term educational plans for Lil'Tex. Will you be sending him to summer school anyway?

Bummer about your job. Seriously. Good luck!!!!

BigTex71 said...

Yes, we plan on having him in summer enrollment. I am guaranteed being paid through March of next year (due to the compensation package offered.) So it will not affect his immediate education plans.

BTW: it is semiconductor industry... not superconductor. (That would be cool, though.) :D

look_an_atheist said...

ooooooo, I am sorry Bigtex.

That was really tacky of me not to double check my work and see what you had written.

Dang. You know, even when I was thinking superconductor, I was actually thinking of particle accelerators.

Yikes. Apparently I don't know what a semiconductor OR a superconductor is. hold on.

Semiconductor- chips, the integrated circuits that are present in everyday electrical and electronic devices. It is a multiple-step sequence of photographic and chemical processing steps during which electronic circuits are gradually created on a wafer made of pure semiconducting material. Silicon is the most commonly used semiconductor material today, along with various compound semiconductors.

The entire manufacturing process from start to packaged chips ready for shipment takes six to eight weeks and is performed in highly specialized facilities

Superconductor- element, inter-metallic alloy, or compound that that will conduct electricity without resistance below a certain temperature. Once set in motion, electrical current will flow forever in a closed loop.....

Pardon me, Bigtex, my ignorance was showing.

I'm glad the finances are secure while you can look for more work. Sounds fairly specialized! And that school really does look good. I wonder if their map program is up and running or if it just wigs out when there isn't a school near the zipcode entered.

BigTex71 said...

I hope I didn't sound condescending in any way when I mentioned the semiconductor/superconductor thing. It's all good!


look_an_atheist said...

oh no no no! Not condescending. This was not you. I just felt like a complete doofus for missing it. When I looked back it was very obvious that you had a semi and not a super [bwahahahaha] conductor and I felt bad for not paying closer attention.

I was just trying to be respectful, pull my head out and figure out what you were talking about.

We are GOOD!