Vatican to train more exorcists
What sounds like a bad JayLeno-esque Headline to be made the butt of jokes, is unfortunately a genuine news story.
The Catholic Church has vowed to "fight the Devil head-on" by training hundreds of priests as exorcists.
Unfortunately... true.... In between ogling altar boy bums and diddling catholic school girls, there will be a new line of priest- the Exorcist.
*insert creepy music*
Would you like to know WHY the Catholic church has decided the world needs more demon hunters????
Unfortunately there actually is an answer in the article.
Father Gabriele Amorth, 82, the Exorcist in Chief, announced the initiative amid church concerns about growing worldwide interest in Satanism and the occult.
1st item of note... "growing worldwide interest in Satanism and the occult." Is this a Harry Potter thing again? Or is it the rising voice of atheism breaking through the murky waters of the faith deluded?
2nd item of note... the Catholic church has an Exorcist in Chief. AN EXORCIST IN CHIEF??????? You have GOT to be joking. Please, oh please tell me there is no such person as Father Gabriele Amorth, EiC.
And do you know what specifically has Papa Gabe's shorts in a bundle? The Vatican is concerned that young people are being exposed to Satanism through the media, rock music and the Internet.
The old movies, music, and Internet whinge. AARRGGHH!!!!! Do you know that way back in the late 18th century the waltz was considered the devil's playground? Too lewd, too sensual, too provocative. THE WALTZ!!!!!
Do you suppose these new exorcist specialists (did I really just type that, me a sane, rational person, actually attempting to take this subject seriously????).... *sigh* Do you suppose these new exorcist specialists will have a SWAT team they assemble to rush to the scene, lights flashing, sirens blaring. "Step aside folks! We've got a category 13 possession in progress!"
Ten minutes later..."Oh wait. Never mind. Back to the Mystery Machine boys. It's just an atheist. Nothing to see here folks, move it along, these atheist types don't respond to gestures and prayers to invoke the power of God and stop the "demon" influencing its victim".
Job Description:...You will be specially trained in exorcism and on hand to take action against "extreme Godlessness".
I wonder if those suffering from "extreme Godlessness" get to choose whether or not to be exorcised? Or if it is compulsory? I wonder if people will sue others for being forced to submit to involuntary exorcism?
I said it on the Forum and I'll say it again here...Being a christian is ultimately a weird experience, because there IS nothing there. So... a christian is either faking it or delusional. Period.
And these whack jobs have brought faking it to a whole new level.
'Ware the Exorcist! Coming soon to a diocese near you.